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Why do journalists think it’s OK to ask an actor how big his penis is?

October 24, 2014 by Inside MAN 5 Comments

So, you’re a pair of young reporters for a student newspaper and you’ve been sent to cover the visit of Hollywood star Robert Downey Jnr to one of the UK’s most-prestigious universities.

You get to put one question to the film star. What do you ask? Well, you ask him how big his penis is of course.

“Each paper was allowed just one question. Downey seemed bored by questions about his upcoming film and what it’s like to be a film star,” reported the TAB newspaper.

“So we asked him how big his penis was.”

The paper ran his reply as their headline: “They don’t call me throbbing knob for nothing – Robert Downey Jr on his penis size.”

Sniggering questions

Well, what else could he say?

Which is precisely the point – underpinning this socially-acceptable form of sexism is the unstated rule that men aren’t allowed to complain or admit any insecurity when mocked or objectified about their genitals, if they did, then there must be something to be insecure about, right?

The only option left is to laugh along with the joke, perhaps adding a bit of bombast for good measure, because, you know, I’VE got nothing to worry about. Which of course just perpetuates the taboo.

Because as we all know, there’s nothing quite as pathetic as a man with a small penis and nothing quite as hilarious as laughing at him for it.

It would be nice to be able to dismiss the story as just the work of a couple of puerile student journalists. But it’s actually quite common for reporters to ask a few sniggering questions about actors’ penises.

‘The size of the Fassbender’

Here’s grown-up journalist, Camilla Long’s interview with Michael Fassbender in the respected, broadsheet, Sunday Times magazine.

“Three friends asked me if they could come and ‘hold the Dictaphone’; others requested a detailed report on ‘the size of the Fassbender’.

“He is totally nude for the first five minutes of the film, wanging out of the bedroom, into the kitchen and back to the bathroom, where he takes a long, rump-flexing slash, all pecs, taut torso, and a huge…

“And I couldn’t help but notice he has an enormous penis, too. Would he have done the film if he was less well-endowed?

‘Alfie is a grower not a show-er’

“Ahhhh.” His eyebrows shoot up. “That’s kind of you to say. I didn’t have any references to measure it against. I figured it was average.”

Average? Come on. “No! I’m serious. I don’t check out…” Other men at the gym?

“I don’t really go to the gym,” he shakes his head. “Obviously I figured I didn’t really have a small penis. Would I have done it if I didn’t have whatever-sized penis? I didn’t think about that.”

Try reversing the genders in that interview — and I don’t mean replacing the discussion of penis size for breast size.

Then there’s this extract from another female journalist’s article about Alfie Allen’s role in Equus, a stage play that requires full-frontal nudity from the lead actor.

“The producers and director are waxing lyrical about Alfie – he is incredibly talented.

‘Justice to his manhood’

“But rehearsals for one of the play’s climactic scenes, in which he appears naked alongside co-star Laura O’Toole, revealed a knotty problem – his pubic hair. Apparently, Alfie is a grower not a show-er and his unkempt bush needed to be cut back.

“It was out of control and not doing justice to his manhood.

“It was quite awkward and no one knew how to tell him and who should do it. But when Alfie was told, he took it like a man – and reached for the nail scissors. Now he can’t wait to get up on stage and show off his super buff and aerodynamic bod.”

In another newspaper report on the show, Allen and the actor who had preceded him in the role, Daniel Radcliffe, were depicted standing next to each other with first and second prize rosettes photo-shopped over their groins.

Next time a journalist asks an actor about his genitals, it would be nice to see him respond in the way any female actor would have the right to respond. Tell them to fuck off.

By Dan Bell

If you liked this article and want to read more, follow us on Twitter @insideMANmag and Facebook

Also on insideMAN:

  • When it comes to depictions of men, Gutter Glossies and Ivory Tower Feminists are on the same page
  • Is it acceptable for the BBC to say this about men?

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Filed Under: Men’s Issues Tagged With: Alfie Allen, Camilla Long, Michael Fassbender, penis size, robert downey jr, The Tab

  • Debbie

    Yeah, I don’t want to know that stuff about anyone of any gender. Completely inappropriate and rude.

    • Inside MAN

      Thanks Debbie. I also find it really offensive in terms of the fact there’s a real cruelty underlying this particular trope in the culture — particularly in light of young men’s and pubescent boys’ body image and sense of adequacy. It’s a complete double-bind, as I mention in the article, there’s no “empowered” way for a man to “assert” the fact he has a less-than-average-sized penis.

      • Debbie

        I agree. Another thing is that there is no ‘average’ so why should anyone be measured against something completely unattainable.

  • Nigel

    Dan I was actually really surprised by the piece you quote from a “serious” journalist. I think you are so right to point out this expectation of males to have a sort of cast iron ego capable of laughing off any in – security. Also paradoxical is the curiously more “coy” world of my sons compared to my school days. Put bluntly I went to a huge Secondary Modern  in the seventies in which there was a lot of sports and practical work. Consequently a lot of getting changed and showering in large communal changing rooms and  showers. Consequently a lot of people had seen my “bits” and vice versa over the five years there which of course coincided with the immense embarrassments of puberty.  By which time one knew there was a right lot of variety in bodies. Now I don’t know what it is but there is a lot less showering at schools and a lot more cubicles so my sons have simply not been exposed ( literally) to the variety. So curiously today’s generation are both more exposed to “manufactured” nudity and very much less so to it’s reality. Thus it seems to me that increasingly the fantasy of bodies becomes a more powerful measure much to the advantage of advertisers and others who feed of this anxiety. Though hardly earth shattering it is a part of contributing to more and more anxiety over bodies in both sexes. Perhaps the gender difference is that this is more advanced as a phenomenon for girls and women ( orchestrated by fashion) and that males are somehow supposed to be immune or able to face their anxieties from their own resources. 

    • Inside MAN

      Thanks Nigel, that Camilla Long interview is quite extraordinary, really. The thing about shame is that it thrives on silence. In my view, men need to start speaking out about their insecurities and defying that shame. Dan

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