insideMAN

‘Manspreading?’ I’ve seen just as many men give up their seats on the tube

by 16 Comments

This week “manspreading” surfaced once again from the depths of Tumblr to make one of its now regular appearances in the mainstream media, after two men in New York were arrested for taking up too much room on the subway, where this allegedly gendered behaviour has reportedly (and incredibly) been made an offence.

Anyone who has a passing familiarity with the pop-cultural discussion of gender that takes place on twitter and in online organs such as Jezebel and the Huffington Post, will a) know what “manspreading” is supposed to represent and b) know exactly where they stand (or sit) on the issue.

For my part, it strikes me that if men can not only be publicly humiliated by women for the way they sit on public transport, but arrested for it as well, then it’s a very strange form of Patriarchal privilege indeed that they are apparently enjoying.

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But the dodgy ideological reasoning behind stigmatising men for the way they sit has been raked over plenty of times already. What I want to write about is the gulf between the alleged scourge of men sitting legs akimbo on the tube, and the behaviour of men that I actually witness on a daily basis while travelling on public transport in London.

I mainly take the bus at the moment, where for some reason “manspreading” is less forensically monitored by the Tumblerettes who post sneakily-taken phone images (creepy objectification anyone?) on their “Men Taking Up Too Much Space on the Train” blog. But during six months last year I commuted on the overground train that runs between  east London and west London.

The train is packed at rush hour and you would routinely find yourself standing for the full 50-minute journey. Almost without fail during the six months I made the commute, at least once during the two-way journey I would see a man either offer to give up a seat he was sitting on for a perfectly able-bodied woman, or demure to allow a woman to sit down if there was some confusion as to who had got to the seat first.

Occasionally a woman would politely refuse, but in the majority of instances she would smile with gratitude and happily take the seat to avoid standing for the best part of an hour.

Benevolent sexism?

Now, you might argue this is a form of “benevolent sexism”, in which these men don’t think women are strong enough to stand on their own two feet. Granted, occasionally there would be something a bit patronising in the exchange, but far more often it appeared to me that the man offering his seat was doing so out of a sense of the etiquette that he knew was expected of him. More importantly though, in the instances when there was uncertainty as to who got to the seat first, there was the unspoken weight of shame he would be subjected to as a man for “stealing” a seat from a woman.

Whether you agree with this gendered role play or not, what it certainly doesn’t show is that these men hold an inherent sense of entitlement over public space.

But the point I really want to make here is that I’ve never seen so much as a tweet or a Facebook post to acknowledge this small, but en-mass, daily display of self-sacrifice by men. Spend a day travelling on the tube in London and I guarantee you’ll see a man give up his seat, you’ll probably also see a man help a woman carry her pram up an escalator, or help another with her luggage.

But if you were to take your assumptions about how men use public space solely from the virtual world of social media and online commentary, you’d be forgiven for assuming that all men do is lounge and leer their way through the subways and streets of London and New York.

Of course it’s not particularly surprising that we don’t hear about men’s daily small acts of random kindness – no news is good news, after all. But what is a problem, is if the constantly-repeated negative messages about men start to become ingrained in our preconceptions about them too. After all, that is precisely what tends to happen when we’re constantly  fed negative messages about a particular group of people.

So I’ve decided there’s only one thing for it. I’m going to start a Tumblr. It’s going to feature selectively-taken phone clips that set out to prove a one-sided worldview and it’s going to be called: “Men Giving Up Too Much Space on the Tube.”

By Dan Bell

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  • Mark Brooks

    A quite brilliant article. All this type of anti-male campaigning does is not only polarise the genders but also makes for a harsher world. What the outcome will be is that men won’t get up for a woman (unless pregnant), won’t help women with luggage up tube steps etc etc for fear of being accused of sexism but also some may take up a “well you want equality, I am not giving up my seat” stance. Hardly a victory for women, but the campaign is being done in their name.

    A recent allegory is how the anti-English sloganeering of the SNP has created an anti-Scottish sentiment in the English. The result? A Conservative government the Scots did not want!

    • insideMAN

      Thanks Mark!

    • Paul

      The backlash has started. Women want equality then they’ll get equality in bulk as far as I’m concerned.

      I used to give my seat for women but I don’t anymore. I make an assessment on whether they need it more than I and gender doesn’t play a role in that. Unless someone is obviously pregnant (like twiggy has swallowed a basketball) or has a badge saying baby on board I don’t offer my seat to women who could be pregnant as they may just be fat. I ‘spread because it’s more comfortable and my bag has fallen out of the tiny overhead racks on my head more than once. But I’ll move it the second anyone asks and crush my testicles if they sit down next to me.

      A lot of the ‘offence’ could be eliminated by people simply asking nicely. Some people with really hard to manufacture offence. Just because people are standing and someone is ‘spreading doesn’t mean those people are being stopped from sitting. A lot of people prefer to stand for short journeys or to watch their bags or because there aren’t enough spaces for the group to sit together.

      I’ll often make a point of asking someone to move their bag even though other seats are available.

      • Groan

        Quite right to entirely sensible to offer assistance to whoever needs it. I tend to feel most supportive to older folk. As Mark says there is a set of linked narratives that link selfishness or rude behaviour by individuals to some deep dark theory , rather than a lack of manners. This is of course sexism particularly if the power of the state is aligned behind it.

    • Groan

      With friends living in the borderlands the recent years have seen both indirect discrimination and direct discrimination ( in employment in public services) against English people. I actually doubt this is deliberate on the part of the SNP but nationalism against an ” oppressor ” builds up hate. Such is so if “all men” become the enemy.

  • Paul Mills

    Back in my less fulfilled days I also travelled regularly by train and the underground (suppresses inwards shudder). Of course there were often men taking up more than one seat, either with their laptop and papers around them and on the table, or sitting ‘legs akimbo’ at their ease. The vast majority would also ready take up less space once there were helped to become aware that there were others who did not have a seat – traditionally a simple ‘is that seat taken?’ type question and a smile would do the trick.

    What I think also needs recognition is that some females also behave in this way – particularly the important power dressed looking ones – who give a vibe which clearly says, with suitable disdain ‘if you assert your right to take up this seat that is free next to me, you will be invading my personal space’ and by default prove the long held feminist belief that …… insert negatives.

    I guess the simple truth is that we, as humans, are not made to be squashed together in a shared space in such a way for travel, which is also why in some countries people choose to ride on the roof instead!

  • DuncanFisher

    I too have been observing this on the underground. Taking up too much space is rude and it is nearly only men who do it (particularly if they have a large bag on the tube from Heathrow), so there is something about gender here. The other day, I was stuck beside a guy spreading all over the place, but of course I was far too polite and British so say anything! But I observe that the large majority of men don’t, and, if they are like me, don’t feel any entitlement to the practice – rather, an aversion to the whole idea. It feels to me more like poor socialisation of boys – what did these guys’ mums and dads teach them?! Given it is rude and that it does happen, I wonder whether the underground should put up notices about not taking up too much space, particularly if you have luggage; the messaging could go further and also promote being helpful to other people on the tube, to highlight the good things that you see happening all the time. It could work – social etiquette on the London underground is proverbial – all standing to the right on the escalators is a fascination to visitors! A proposal by Inside-Man to Transport for London?!

    • disqus_QL05BqU79X

      You’ll find that it is almost entirely women that take up extra space on public transport; with shopping bags, normally. This has not gone unnoticed, hence the good-natured backlash against this hateful, bigoted ‘ManSpreading’ drivel, named ‘SheBagging.’

      UK public transport is very poorly designed in terms of the sizes of seats, legroom etc. It’s practically impossible for a man of my size to sit in a standard bus seat without opening my legs. I generally stand on the tube because I like hanging from the roofbars, but that’s just me.

    • AJ

      I made some commuter train journeys recently looking for this and found a 2:1 ratio of women to men in terms of using their luggage to take more than one seat. ‘Bag spreading’ was far more common than extreme man spreading , borderline spreading where all of the seat is used but no significant encroachment occurs was more common but is this any sort of issue at all?

      The real issue is that being considerate (or not being inconsiderate) should not be a gender issue at all. What man spreading publicity shows is the acceptability of sexism against men and the intolerance and censorship of any sort of criticism of women.

    • insideMAN

      The moment TfL start accepting proposals from insideMAN, I’ll consider our work here as being done… Cheers Duncan.

      • terry cully

        Time to put these bi itches in check: MANHOOD 101. C O M

    • raisinade

      Duncan, it’s anatomy. Some of us just… have to sit that way. This manspreading nonsense is like harassing women for having breasts that take up too much room. It’s absurd!

    • Darklight
    • wordsIVue

      How odd, I have only ever seen women spreading their shopping bags all over the next seat(s). Not to mention the number if times I have had to defend my shins from the shoes of a woman crossing her legs so askew that her feet are in the middle of my space.

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  • john adams

    I recently broke my little toe and found myself using a crutch to travel across London with my daughter. Twice men gave up their seats for me (and her as it happens). I didn’t expect anyone to do so, what with this being London, but they did!

    That said, I do recall an occasion when I travvelled by bus from Oxford to London and was sat next to a man who made manspreading an artfrom, so much so that I made sure my newspaper was spread across both our laps for the journey. Oddly he didn’t say a word about this invasion of his personal space! Having seen Duncan’s comment below, I suspect this guy had possibly not been socialised and didn’t really have much understanding of etiquette. A Tumblr account targetting men, however? No, bad idea.