Matthew Adams became a dad for the first time just two weeks ago. Before he did he went on record to acknowledge his top five fears of being a dad.
Before we share his fears with you, here’s what he said about the first 11 days of being a new dad:
My days have been filled with nappy cleaning duties and plenty of staring at my beautiful baby girl. She’s perfect. Even although I’m sleep deprived, seeing her smile makes it all worth it. In one simple sentence:
Snooze a little, wake to crying baby, clean nappy, hold baby, try remember to eat, stare at baby, smile: repeat (x11).
That’s fatherhood thus far. Although it doesn’t sound like the most exciting 11 days it actually is pretty damn amazing. I go back to work on Monday and am dreading the idea of it – getting up early, not sleeping enough to function, not being able to spend the whole day with Lana.
Congratulations to Matthew and his family, now here’s his list of top fears as a new dad:
“How are you feeling?”
“Excited.”
That’s usually how the conversation goes when asked and I’ve been giving the same answer from day one. I can understand why some dads-to-be feel fear or worry but that’s not been the case for me and never has. I’m so relaxed that I’m starting to think I’m maybe being ridiculously naive about the whole parenthood thing – maybe I should be scared?
So, in a bid to reassure myself that it’s not going to be plain sailing, I thought I would list my five father-to-be fears (a list that I would love to hear your feedback on – are they justified, am I missing anything?).
- Lana’s health
I’ll admit I have always had underlying worries about whether my child would be born healthy or not (even prior to becoming a father-to-be). The thing is, I can’t really do anything about this, so can only hope. I’m pretty sure this is normal but as long as Lana is healthy, I’ll be happy. The rest of this list is irrelevant.
- Sleep deprivation
“Sleep now” is the advice I’m always given from mums and dads. I love sleep and I hate mornings. This has been the state of affairs from the moment I hit puberty (Circa. 2012) and not only am I convinced it’s not going to change anytime soon but it’s going to become a whole lot tougher.
- Sex deprivation
I’m sure this depends on the couple and the circumstances but I’m sure it’s common. Nina and I are still young and I don’t think either of us are ready to call it a day yet. In the same way that we must devote time to the baby I guess we need to make sure we put aside some time for ourselves (that doesn’t have to always be sex but if it is then so be it
- Stress
Between baby, work, money and the constant threat of sex deprivation I am sure this is a cloud that is likely to come and go. It happens in life anyway so I’ll deal with it when it comes. I consider myself a relaxed individual who doesn’t let things get to him but perhaps baby induced stressed is of a caliber I am yet to experience. Can any dads out there shed some light on the matter?
- Dressing like a dad
I don’t claim to be a fashion guru but I do my best to dress well. At work I feel that if I make an effort to look smart I will work smart – totally psychological I know but it works for me.
When Lana comes along I hope I can maintain some form of fashion sense without descending into socks and sandals or fleeces and hiking boots.
Matthew Adams lives in Edinburgh and blogs about fatherhood at www.lessonsintheartofdad.com. You can follow him on twitter @blogging_dad.
To mark the launch of the film Down Dog, insideMAN is running a series of articles about fatherhood throughout February and we’d love you to get involved. You can join the conversation on twitter by using the hashtag #MenBehavingDADly; leave a comment in the section below or email us with your thoughts and ideas for articles to insideMANeditor@gmail.com.
For more information about the film see www.downdogfilm.com