insideMAN

Feeling stressed? Try doing something creative

by 3 Comments

There are many ways to unwind and relax — taking part in sports or exercise is a great choice, meditation can help combat anxiety, and simply spending time with those who make you the happiest can help you let go of stress.

But if sitting in the lotus position isn’t quite your cup of tea, and getting sweaty away at the gym doesn’t appeal, sometimes the best way to release worry and tension, is to do something that will simply let you see the physical manifestation of what you’ve created. In other words, an activity that allows you to witness the results of your efforts and track your progress.

You might say to yourself, “I’m not creative at all – I can’t do anything like that”, but you might surprise yourself. To some, the idea of being creative revolves around the image of writing lines of poetry or holding a painting on a canvas. Of course, these are good examples of being artistic and expressing emotions, but they aren’t the only ways. There are methods of being expressive and creative that you may not have thought of, yet can still help you to get things off your chest in a positive way.

Blogging

Venting, as the name implies, is all about releasing pent up emotions. As is sometimes all too apparent, for many people social media has become the first port of call to vent frustrations and share feelings across their network of friends, both positive and negative. The problem with social media, though, is that its immediacy can result in public statements that we may regret. Blogging, on the other hand, is much more considered and can bridge the gap between friend and stranger, encouraging a more considered level of communication and offering the chance to build ties with people who have similar experiences, which in turn can challenge feelings of isolation.

Starting out on your own blog adventure isn’t actually that difficult, and once you start uploading blog posts, it essentially works as an online diary. Writing down your thoughts and feelings is hugely beneficial for your mental health; sharing them on an online platform and social media might seem daunting at first, but the more you do it, the more comfortable you’ll feel having people read your words. The idea is for people – no matter if they’re strangers or acquaintances – to empathise with your experiences. Once you share, you’ll be surprised how many people go through similar struggles.

Colouring books

Yes, it might seem very odd at first to suggest picking up a colouring book (something you probably haven’t done since you were five), but be open to the idea. Many people staunchly believe in the concept of colouring books for adults, as they simply allow someone to empty their mind of all thoughts and focus on nothing but the image; somewhat akin to meditation, only more hands-on. Plus, after you’ve completed the drawing, you’ll have something quite beautiful to show for it. Check out these colouring books and see for yourself.

Music and Photography

These might be hobbies you dabbled with as a kid but never really pursued them fully. Perhaps you became bored or didn’t have the time anymore, but now could be the moment to revitalise one or both of these interests. The goal doesn’t have to be anything more than playing for your own enjoyment, or to work towards a set goal simply for the sake of personal accomplishment. Making space for “me time” is what’s important. No one expects you to be Jimmy Page as soon as you pick up a guitar, nor will they expect you to best Ansel Adams after taking your first photograph. Music and photography help you shut off your thoughts for a while, and let you focus on creating something that you believe is good, no matter what anyone else thinks.

Cooking

Finally, the thought of cooking may well bring up images of Gordon Ramsey yelling at you for overcooking the salmon on Hell’s Kitchen, but in reality, cooking is far more relaxing than this. Like everything on this list, the idea of cooking is grounded in having something to show for your effort at the end of it all. You get the advantage of doing something that takes your mind off matters, you learn new skills, and then you’ve (hopefully) got something tasty after the effort. Jamie Oliver’s cookbooks and YouTube series allow beginners to get to grips with cooking, and he’s far more chilled out than Ramsey, that’s for sure.

Image: Flickr/13Moya Photography

New Technology: Car Comforts For The Modern Man

by 2 Comments

Giles Kirkland is a mechanic who has always had a passion for cars, but now modern vehicles can offer functions that were beyond his imagination when he first developed his childhood fascination with the automobile.

Here Giles offers his expert insight into some of the cutting-edge technology that’s rapidly changing the face of modern motoring.

For many, a car is vital transport – allowing you to get to work, do school runs and load up the family for a summer holiday or two. But today’s man needs more from a car than just a means of getting from A to B.

So, what modern comforts are available? Technology has progressed since the car radio and there is certainly a lot to take advantage of. It’s not all about car tyres and roof racks – digital technology is definitely making its mark on the humble car. In fact, in a few years, it might just be common for the car to drive itself.

In-Car Entertainment

If you’re the one driving the car, there’s obviously a limit to what you can do to entertain yourself beyond listening to music, but what is available in terms of in-car audio has been greatly refined. Forget the car’s CD player. If you want to use music, simply bring a bluetooth device – such as an MP3 player – plug in and press play. Similar results can be gained via smart devices, too. Combine this with cloud technology, and your entire discography is at your disposal!

Synchronising Devices

The modern man has many devices, most notably a smart phone. As cars become more and more digital, it’s not surprising to find more ways to synchronise your phone with your vehicle. With your smartphone alone, you can use GPS to get directions, use voice recognition services to call people and let people see how far away you are.

Today we even have the likes of Android Auto, which offers a range of digital features and functions. This is built into a lot of new cars but if yours isn’t compatible, you can retro-fit an older model with an aftermarket radio and an Android device. This will let you use GPS, take calls and more. It’s almost like a mini-office in the car – perfect for the man on the go!

All of this, of course, is just before the dawn of the ‘smart car’. It’s no secret Apple and Google are working on cars of their own. More seamless integration between devices is absolutely expected. With the growing “internet of things”, you’ll be able to check in at home while driving to and from the office, or even noticing what’s missing in the fridge on the way to the shops!

Smartboxes

This is quite a broad term, but smartboxes can both read your vehicles performance and help avoid accidents – devices which do the latter are typically known as crash avoidance systems, or CAS and can apply the brakes when vehicles are too close.

A smartbox can monitor how you drive and deliver useful data. If you care about your car, this is invaluable. Is your car turning differently or getting a different response? The data from your smartbox could indicate you need a car tyre repair – something many human drivers overlook. Most men don’t have time to go the garage every time there is a possible fault, so having detailed data at your disposal is invaluable.

Furthermore, many insurance agencies actively reward drivers for having smart boxes or CAS, as they can adjust the policy to match the safety standards. (Think you’re a safe driver? Ask your insurance provider to lower your premiums as a result.)

Active Window Displays

If you want to keep your eyes on the road, wouldn’t it be great if you could get information directly on your windscreen? With advanced Heads Up Display units, you can. This uses lights to display information in front of you, so you can stay focused on driving. Other than its usefulness while driving, it certainly looks futuristic.

Biometric Features

A key can be used by anybody, so why not use a biometric lock? Using your fingerprints as access doesn’t only just offer a safer way of securing your car – it also means you’re never going to get locked out. Keys can be copied, broken or left in the office, but your fingerprints and biometric data will always be with you.

Similarly, there has been talk about various health sensors to monitor your health while driving. Ford originally tried this approach with seats that could monitor heart rates, but has since moved to in-car wearables for the driver.

In short, there’s plenty of ways for you to customise your vehicle to suit your needs. Whether it’s driving to work, or turning the car into a child-friendly family vehicle, modern technology is enabling any vehicle to accomplish so much more.

Men and success: How do you know if you’re thriving at 30?

by Leave a Comment

We are often presented with a particular image of success, based on status and wealth. The successful men are the Jordan Belforts of the world, we’re told – swimming in money, prestige, and £3000 suits, all before they hit 30 — but is that really success?

These men drive the most gorgeous and expensive cars, when they aren’t being taxied around by their chauffeur, and they’ve got their Wall Street style know-how down to an art form. I mean, even the film The Pursuit of Happiness ended with Will Smith’s character becoming a stockbroker.

The pursuit of this type of goal is a common theme in popular culture, but is ultimately a narrow and misleading conception of happiness and success. I think anyone striving after this and this alone, excepting it to bring happiness to their lives, will be greatly disillusioned. Seeing where I am at 30 and where I thought I would be, at least I thought I could take comfort in thinking that what it means to be a man in the 21st century, and a successful one at that, has changed drastically from the late 80’s and early 90’s.

But a little while ago I started to wonder whether this was also kind of a narrow way of looking at things. I mean, take for example one of the archetypal outward symbols of masculine success – the luxury watch. I read an article A Wall Street Guide to Watches the other day which boldly proclaimed that a Tag Heuer, for example, was something you get for your 18th birthday, but not fit to wear to the workplace.

But what about if owning a watch like that was also a choice grounded in the passion and function it serves for you? For example, you could dig up a vintage watch online, which would better reflect who you really are. In other words, sure it’s a luxury, but it’s also a far cry from serving merely as a vacuous status symbol. It’s for you, no one else – a material possession that isn’t just something on which you base your sense of self-achievement and success in order project that image to others.

I guess the problem is, where do you draw the line? How do you know if you’re just treating yourself, or falling into the trap of defining yourself as a man by the prestige of your possessions?

The problem with the perpetuation of the materialistically based image of the “successful man” is that the majority of us who do not fit this image then end up feeling less – less of a man, less successful, in general just less. This poses a problem to a healthy idea of masculinity, as well as to a productive concept of financial security and career success. I may not be where I thought that I would be at 30, but that doesn’t mean that I am not successful and at exactly the point in my career where I should be. Success is all a matter of perspective, and likewise the happiness that goes along with it.

I think the “established, successful 30 year old man” is a remnant of the “sole provider” days. However, this married with kids, sole provider for the family male role has changed drastically over the few decades, not to mention education, the work force, and the age we are when entering the workforce. All of these factors seem to add up to the fact that most of us – whether male or female – are still works in progress at 30. We are still building our careers, some still paying off our student loans, and most of us are still in a renting phase of life over paying into a mortgage. Does this mean that we are not thriving at 30? Not at all.

I think in our present reality, the very best thing that we can accept about ourselves, our personal lives, and our careers, is that at 30, we are still figuring it all out. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, and being open to change and new possibilities is our biggest weapon to help us walk down that career path towards our individual visions of success, whatever they may be. Embrace your thirties as the opportunistic time that they are to still figure out who you are, what you want, and where you want to go. Then, once you’ve worked all that out, maybe treat yourself to that watch.

By Phillip McCracken

Photo: Flickr/alexkerhead

Is motoring still a typically masculine pursuit?

by 3 Comments

Motoring has long been a common subject matter for gender stereotyping. In the early stages of child development, the choice of toys to play with is still largely gendered. Even when parents are supportive of boys playing with so-called ‘girly’ toys, the fact that there is still a strong recognition that there are ‘masculine’ and ‘feminine’ toys speaks volumes.

This distinction appears to lay the foundation for the generally macho image of motoring, but how far has this image endured in the 21st century?

There are some strong indications that the connection between motoring and masculinity is as strong as ever. The idea of men as more aggressive drivers, particularly young male teenage racers for instance, is not only still a common social stereotype, but also corroborated by DVLA records. The Telegraph reports that, according to the DVLA, 654,263 men were caught speeding in 2015, compared to only 267,290 women.

One explanation for this stark contrast is an inherent risk-taking tendency in men, which is less present in women, at least according to a 2012 psychological study. This disposition was “genetically shaped by evolution”, where men’s role as hunter-gatherers necessitated risk-taking, according to the study’s author Geoff Trickey.

‘Masculinity isn’t fixed’

Nevertheless, it still seems a bit of a stretch to contend that men speed chiefly because it is a ‘manly’ thing to do, at least not consciously. The fact that men can be seen to drive more recklessly doesn’t in itself display that men identify this behaviour with their masculinity per se. That is, this correlation arguably establishes a connection between men and certain driving habits, but not necessarily between motoring and their identity as men. More specifically, how individuals self-identify with their masculinity. It appears an entirely different question to ask to what extent men take pride in their motoring habits and interests, rather than merely their observable behaviour.

This aspect of identifying motoring with one’s own masculinity is somewhat harder to grasp, and one that appears to be changing with time. Masculinity as a concept isn’t fixed – the emergence of metrosexuality challenges this for example. Bearing that in mind, it’s something of a typical image of the baby boomer generation of men that they’re keen on cars, not merely taking control of driving, but also taking an interest in tinkering with running repairs and improvements to their car. In contrast, one survey found that 70% of young men (under 35) can’t change a tyre, and 60% can’t replace windscreen wipers, whereas 65% of men over 50 can change a tyre.

In some sense this is surprising, given the immediacy of ordering replacement parts through sites like this, and the ubiquity of ‘how to’ guides on the internet – something older generations didn’t have the luxury of. The greater willingness of older men to dedicate efforts to caring for their car demonstrates a closer connection, perhaps even pride, to motoring than their sons and grandsons have. Even on an anecdotal level, it appears that at least young men are taking less pride in motoring, which indicates a shift in the association between masculinity and motoring.

The perception of cars and motoring as a masculine pursuit, then, is at best hazy and difficult to pin down. As the concept of masculinity develops in the 21st century, along with individuals’ self-identification with it, the connection with cars seems to be becoming more tenuous. This is not to say, of course, that a certain association between a ‘pedal to the metal’ attitude and ‘manliness’ persists. However, in the context of a society where men are being challenged more than ever to scrutinise their own gender identity, the nature of this attitude is evolving.

By Peter Riley

Photo: Flickr/Collector Car Ads

Stressed? Try meditation

by Leave a Comment

Anxiety is the watchword of our times. Whether it is a question of global politics or the more intimate and personal matter of our appearance, the demands of 21st century life are precisely that – demanding. Meditation can help with that.

Leaving aside the sense of pervasive menace that spills out of every news bulletin, there is a more pointedly personal sting fired at us in every ad break. Are your abs up to scratch? Is your hair too grey/too thin? Is your belly out of control? Is your cholesterol too high, or your bank balance too small?

All too easily it can seem as though anxiety marks almost every aspect of our contemporary first world sense of self. Being asked to measure ourselves against the impossible ideals of Hollywood and all those airbrushed ads over and over again is a sure fire way to leave you feeling just that little bit less than up to the mark.

Living the bad dream

It’s a complaint that feminist campaigners against the ad industry have been making for generations, so perhaps we shouldn’t be too surprised. But against a backdrop of ever growing anxiety over our professional lives – micro management, shrinking budgets and the sense of flying without a safety net that government cutbacks have accentuated – all those minor and not so minor anxieties can build up to the point where life can feel like it is one of those bad dreams where no matter how hard you try you can never quite shake off the nameless threat is pursuing you.

Anxiety is widely recognised as the most prevalent form of mental illness in the UK today. But whilst women are one and a half times more likely to be treated for a mental illness than men, it is males who overwhelmingly dominate the suicide figures. Whilst women are more likely to ask for help, it seems, the tendency is for men to soldier on – self medicating with alcohol or some other potential addiction, rather than turn to their GP.

Rather than medical intervention, meditation is increasingly acknowledged as a successful means of corralling those swirling anxieties, learning to relax and taking control of our emotional reactions to the incessant demands of modern day living.

Taking control

Amidst the incessant clamour of our busy lives the quiet still space that meditation affords is not only immediately stress-relieving in itself, it is also well-recognised as leading to better decision-making and a more evolved and a more robust sense of self.

If anxiety is the watchword of our times, a robust psychological self-reliance is its antidote. For most of us that strength of personality is not something that comes as standard. Or if it does, it can be worn down or buried beneath the spoil heap of those minor day-to-day vexations.

But taking the time to consciously relax, to put yourself on good terms with your thoughts and emotions is easily achieved. Help and guidance for beginners is readily available and increasingly popular. All it takes is a few quiet moments and a desire to live a better life. No drugs, no public performance, no fuss and no stress – really, what is there to worry about?

Image courtesy: Hernan Piñera 

How I went from a mid-twenties crisis to working as a men’s coach

by Leave a Comment

Whenever I tell my story of how I became a men’s coach it always begins with the words, “…well it began when I had my mid-twenties crisis…” and then I move swiftly on.

But recently a friend asked me “Clive, what exactly is a mid-twenties crisis?” As I shared my story, I reconnected with feelings from back then and realised how they’d shaped me today. Since relaying my story I’ve felt a strong desire to share it more widely and help support others who may be experiencing something similar in their lives. For me it was a very confusing and depressing part of my life. So here goes.

By 25 I felt like I’d ticked all the boxes – I was cruising through life, unconsciously striding British society’s well-lit path. I’d exceeded expectations at school, swanned through sixth form and loved my university days – all I needed was a job that paid a half-decent wage and I’d just landed it! It really was as simple as that.

However, once the initial excitement of my employment and a pay cheque or two wore off, I began to feel that something wasn’t right. “It was something that would pass,” I told myself. I had everything a mid-twenties young professional could desire right?  As the months passed, my feeling of uncertainty didn’t. On the rare occasion that I was on my own alone (I didn’t like being alone!), these thoughts of frustration would appear. Relentless voices in my head saying “you’re not fulfilled, something isn’t right”.

‘My world was turned upside down’

On reflection, perhaps I didn’t give these voices any space to be heard. Old “survival” habits I’d carried over from university were seeing to that – dance floors, a heavy social drinking habit, and a sports watching obsession. Distractions enough to keep those voices down and out of the way, safely in the depths of my shadows. Little did I know the gold that lay beneath.

Things suddenly shifted. In a matter of weeks I broke up with my girlfriend, moved out from home and received news my younger sister was to be facing life-threatening cancer. My world was turned upside down. I’d been confronted with the realities of life, of the mortality that is our human experience. I’d no longer ever take tomorrow for granted.

Spending more time alone in self-reflection, my inner voices where finally heard. As the truth surfaced from the darkness I could see I wasn’t getting quality or fulfilment at the deepest levels of my life. I didn’t have my “Why?”

Confusion naturally followed. On one hand, I had all I’d thought I’d ever wanted, though here now, I realised that was all on the surface and underneath I was in the opposite state, I was lost! I craved change, I was hungry for inner exploration and external action to understand what was happening to me so I could get clear on where the hell I was going – and why.

To read more inspiring stories about men buy our book here!

Being an analyst by trade I was going to start collecting data for a very personal piece of work, my own self-diagnosis. To begin I set up a folder on my laptop called the “life project”.

The internal work would be done in the external form of Journaling. This was the qualitative data set I would utilise to review, analyse and identify patterns. Incorporating structure I would self-stage regular monthly reviews, then in time full year reviews. Within these sessions I’d list key successes, note patterns (e.g. an inability to say “no”, leading to tiredness) and areas I wished to change/improve.

I studied goal setting. Setting myself regular goals, underpinned by self-accountability to weekly and daily tasks. This process generated quantitive data which when coupled with the qualitative  results from my journal gave me a rich picture of where I stood and where I was consciously heading. Working holistically, inside and out, I slowly began to unpack and rebuild my life, making changes for a new version of myself, connected with who I was at the core and who I wanted to become.

My “life project” had identified a desire to teach and with focus I realised a secondment working as a youth team leader, supporting 16 to 24-year-olds for The Prince’s Trust charity. The charity supports young adults to re-engage in either full time employment or eduction. Completing this work uncovered a natural aptitude for coaching and motivating groups in a classroom environment. Another identified desire was a deep need to travel, which with hard graft and a goal mindset, became a dream come true – backpacking around the world for a year.

‘Don’t drown the pain or ignore the questions’

On my return from my global adventures, I realised I needed the support of other men and found it in the form of Kenny Mammarella D’Cruz’s MenSpeak men’s groups. This inspired me to continue my work with groups incorporating coaching – this time with men in the form of the growing meetup that is the Men’s Action Project (The MAP). Today I have my challenges, but I am fulfilled. I’ve found my “why” in the form of coaching men to “walk their talk” as piece-by-piece I build my practice.

For anyone who may be experiencing this time in life, my advice is don’t drown out the pain or ignore the questions. Keep asking, keep testing and maybe start a “life project” of your own. For a long period I chose to go it alone, but in hindsight engagement with others at an earlier stage would have helped me to realise what was happening within me and make some required changes sooner.

If you need to take action, join us at the Men’s Action Project (The MAP) to start “walking your talk” with like-minded others. For a safe place to talk, groups such as Kenny’s enlightening MenSpeak groups are well worth a try.

My mid-twenties crisis was a challenging, confusing and very lonely time in my life. I now consider it my great teacher, a gift in terms of giving me insight into my purpose, passions and personal potential. Next step – live from my “Why” and become the best coach I can possibly be.

By Clive Maxheath

Clive is the leader of a group coaching initiative called the Men’s Action Project (The MAP).

To find out more visit the MAP website, find MAP on Facebook or follow him on twitter @CliveMaxheath to find out more about the service he provides.

Evolving Male Stereotypes: The tears of the Samurai

by 2 Comments

For years the definition of what it meant to be a man was someone who hid their emotions, put on a brave face and gutted it out regardless of the circumstances. But new research is beginning to show how far that stereotype is from the truth.

This modern stereotype is just one of many misnomers men have been forced to conform to if they want to be accepted by society, but according to historians, the common ideals associated with masculinity haven’t always been that way. In fact, the traits that are now often considered the sign of being a “real man” are actually quite far removed from those that defined masculinity in ancient cultures.

Today, ask many men if they cry and the kneejerk reaction is often to say “no.” Similarly, if you asked them to describe what masculinity means to them, it wouldn’t be surprising if they offered statements such as: “Being able to handle yourself physically”, “maintaining emotional control”, “It’s about what you do, not what you look like”.

Are tears the ultimate sign of strength?

While these stereotypes will be familiar, they are nonetheless inaccurate for a myriad of reasons. Firstly, from a historical point of view, according to researchers these kinds of assumptions about masculinity only tell a part of the story of men’s behaviour. In fact, in warrior cultures, such as Japanese samurais and medieval knights, tears were the ultimate sign of manliness. Showing emotion towards a fallen comrade or an epic battle showed an appreciation for a code of moral and ethical values that all real men should live by.

In more recent times, western cultures used to value tears in a man as a sign of honesty. Abraham Lincoln famously used tears in his speeches to convey his passion and sincerity, and this strategy has been backed up by research at Penn State University which found a correlation between old cultural values and honesty.

Meanwhile, research by psychology research institute, Mindlab, have revealed that men are actually more emotional than women. Despite denying they have any compassion, empathy or sympathy for pain and sorrow, Dr David Lewis, a neurologist at Mindlab, has found that our views on emotions are mainly prompted by society.

Through a combination of media and social interactions our minds have been told that showing out emotions, such as tears, is something women do and men don’t. Moreover, because of this neuro-linguistic programming, we’re also predisposed to seek out information that reinforces these views.

The changing face of manliness

However, despite these thought patterns, Lewis found that men actually have stronger physiological reactions to certain emotions than women. During a series of experiments, Lewis found that men showed more physiological responses to a “heart-warming” video than female participants did.

Finally, the other piece of evidence which suggests that modern ideas of masculinity are linguistically constructed and socially reinforced distortions of reality, is the number of celebrities now redefining what it means to be a man. Champions of their sports, famous intellectuals and Hollywood stars are all contributing to the changing face of manliness.

Stephen Fry: The English author, TV presenter, commentator and all-round intellectual is an icon for many men across the world, even though he is the complete opposite of a “manly” caricature. Aside from being openly gay, Fry has famously battled with mental health issues for many years. In the past he felt compelled to hide his bipolar disorder, but finally opened up about it in 2006.

 

 

Outlining how he has experienced self-loathing and often succumbed to suicidal thoughts, Fry not only shed light on his own problems but on the plights of many millions of men. While it may have been a small step in the grand scheme of things, this movement by people such as Fry have helped change the perception of manliness.

Ben Wilinofsky: Along the same lines as Fry, poker champion Ben Wilinofsky has openly discussed his battles with depression. From the outside, Wilinofsky has the ultimate life of a “player.” Touring the world, playing poker, making millions and having his pick of the women, Wilinofsky is the ultimate alpha male in some people’s eyes, but behind the man who calls himself NeverScaredB online is a person with a lifelong struggle against mental illness.

Although he was initially concerned about going public with his problems, he went spoke out about them back in 2013 not long after winning a PokerStars EPT title. Since then he’s received a lot of support from the poker community and, like Fry, he’s helped change the perception of manliness.

Leonardo DiCaprio: Hollywood used to push actors such as Clint Eastwood, James Coburn and Paul Newman to the fore because of their manliness. Unflinching in the face of danger, stoic when things go wrong and tough as nails, these actors defined a generation of manly movie-goers; however, things are gradually changing. Actors such as Leonardo DiCaprio are able to look cool and suave, but still be true to their emotions. Regardless of the role he’s playing or the award he’s accepting, DiCaprio can cry, love and laugh, all while being “manly.”

Images of masculinity are constantly changing and while it’s clear that recent stereotypes have put “real men” in a room where tears and emotion are forbidden, this wasn’t always the case.

Moreover, it isn’t the case anymore. Thanks to research, public figures and changing perceptions, stereotypes of masculinity are evolving which proves than emotions know no gender.

Photo:  Flickr/ Cubmundo 

We’ve only bloody gone and done it!

by 4 Comments

Thank you!

We’re so excited to say that we’ve not just hit, but gone beyond our crowdfunding target for our book of amazing writing about men and masculinity!

The support we’ve received sends such a powerful message that this is a conversation that people believe in and that it’s important to have.

As a result of everyone’s support, our book of 40 amazing writers is now with the publishers.

They’re working on it as fast as they can and we hope to have the book in print and on its way to people who have chosen a copy as one of their rewards at the beginning of September.

We’ll keep you updated as the publishing process moves forward.

Because of everyone’s help in getting us to our target, the crowdfunder page is still live so if there’s anyone you know who might be interested in the books or the launch event debate, they can still order them online there.

This truly is a ground breaking conversation, thank you so much for being a part of it!

Dan and Glen

Ten things to think about when buying a suit

by 1 Comment

Even if men don’t need to wear a suit for work, most men will have cause to wear one at some point in their lives, be it for a wedding, a funeral, or a job interview.

Those who choose to put together an outfit that both fits well and looks good, will notice it can have a curious effect on the wearer. Simply dressing differently to how you normally do can cause a change in how you feel about yourself, and a suit can do just that.

Here are ten things to consider when thinking about buying a suit, suggested by online suit retailer Dobell:

You don’t need to spend a fortune to look good, you just need to choose the suit well. Does it compliment your body shape? Does it fit at the shoulders, at the sleeves, at the ankles, and the back?

It makes you feel confident – research indicates, and anecdotal evidence would seem to agree, that rightly or wrongly, dressing in a smart suit imbues the wearer with new levels of self-confidence – whether that’s approaching someone at a bar or leaving your mark at a networking event.

Buy from a specialist, rather than a High Street clothing store which stocks suits as well as a range of other menswear items.

Appropriate accessories come and go – you’d be hard-pushed to find anyone wearing a white scarf with a tuxedo at anything but the most formal of formal occasions nowadays, if in doubt, keep it clean and simple.

Black suits are best left for weddings or funerals. Charcoal grey, or dark blue, are good alternatives. You’d struggle to find a shirt or tie that won’t go with one of those colours.

Sometimes the best occasion to wear a suit is when no-one else is. For example, if you’re just on a night out with friends — if you’re going bar-hopping and you want to make a splash, try a suit with an open-necked shirt.

There are a thousand-and-one rules for how to correctly wear a suit depending on the occasion, the type of suit, or where you are in the world. They are all worth listening to, but if you try and obey them all, you’ll never get dressed in the morning. If you’re not sure what’s right, think conservative, understated and classic.

Your pocket square is the ideal way to add a flash of colour to a conservative suit, but it should never match the tie exactly in either pattern or colour. Stripy tie? Plain or spotted pocket square. Dark blue tie? Red or white pocket square.

If you’re unsure about suit protocol – from what colour shoes to wear with a black suit to how to sit down properly while wearing one, there are lots of resources available online.

But if you’re still in doubt, the most reliable source of information on suits, is usually just to watch the most-recent James Bond film.

Celebrity dads, they’re the talk of the town

by Leave a Comment

There was a time, not so long ago, when the last thing a film star or footballer would have wanted to be associated with was hands-on fatherhood.

It was thought that if you were a celebrity man whose image relied on fantasy-fulfilment for the average working Joe, then you certainly didn’t want your carefully-managed brand of an image to be associated with the school run or changing nappies.

I mean, blokes who are dads spend two hours watching an action film or 90 minutes on the terraces to forget all that, right?

Well that’s certainly not how things are now. From paparazzi shots of David Beckham and his kids sitting next to each other in front-row catwalk seats, to Prince William dismounting from his Polo pony into the arms of his son George, glamorous dads are the talk of the town.

Here’s what Brad Pitt has to say about being a dad: “[Fatherhood] is everything…. The hardest job in the world, the most rewarding job in the world…. We put in long days. And to go home and have dinner with your kids, and have to discipline one of them who’s out of line, and still have the energy for that is…. I can’t explain the fulfillment of that, but it is everything.”

It seems the brand managers have caught up with the fact that actual dads embrace fatherhood and like to see that their heroes do too.

And a new survey by Best Offers Bingo has revealed who are our favourite celebrity dads of all. At the top of the list is David Beckham, in second place Prince William, followed by Will Smith and Brad Pitt – all fathers who proudly show how much they love their kids.

Interestingly, the survey which asked men in age cohorts ranging from 25 to 34, right up to 55 to 64, found David Beckham came out top, whether they were in their twenties or their sixties.

It turns out that for many men being a hands-on dad is now part of the fantasy. Along with having a Spice Girl as a wife, a lazer-like right foot and being as rich as Croesus, of course.