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Why can’t men and women tackle gender equality together?

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Anita Copley is helping to organise an all-panel discussion about the role of men in fighting for gender equality in Wales called #MenOnOurSide. Here she calls on men to join forces to tackle gender inequality.

So we all know the female is the underrepresented sex in top jobs. We’ve shouted and campaigned for about 100 years now and finally, men seem to be stepping up. The #HeforShe campaign saw Emma Watson formally invite men to join the conversation on gender equality. This was followed by the first ever all male conference discussing issues around female representation, nicknamed the Barber shop conference. But have we taken one step forward and two steps back?

Feminists and Meninists have taken to twitter to start a war. By the way, a Meninist is someone who fights for male rights, somewhat ironically. After Emma Watson’s speech, hundreds of bloggers and tweeters started to discuss how male problems also need to be addressed in order to move forward in gender equality.

Feminism versus Meninism

This escalated into childish debate between #Feminism and #Meninism. For example a woman tweeted “If you believe women should have equal rights as men you are a #Feminist” to which a man replied “just saw a girl lifting something heavy, what an outrage!!! #meninist” and so the abuse begins, with endless sarcastic tweets addressing series issues such as domestic violence, careers and rape.

This then led to #Meninist branded T-shirts and jumpers as being sported around university campuses. Which then lead to a lot of females also sporting these jumpers because it’s still very confusing if this is an ironic or serious campaign. Which then lead to even more abuse like “Any female that wears a #Meninist shirt is honestly the definition of thirst for male approval”.

So you get the point. A woman’s ‘problem’ was addressed, and then a few males raised the point that men have ‘problems’ too and how are they being addressed? And before you know it we’ve started a war. There are now endless spoof campaigns for nearly every gender equality issue you can think of and at the end of the day what are we achieving by participating in these campaigns?

There are not male or female problems

Have we forgotten that when it comes to equality there are not ‘male’ or ‘female’ problems? It’s about everyone and it involves everyone. It’s gender equality, and last time I checked there was more than one gender.

So let’s propose a cease fire, and sit down at the table to discuss real change. The first step Women of Wales will take is to host an all-male panel discussion on 12 March for International Women’s Day with some fantastic men who care about achieving gender equality.

As Emma Watson said, “How can we effect change in the world when only half of it is invited or feel welcome to participate in the conversation?” Well let’s start talking about our problems, and face them together as men and women. Let’s find solutions to our problems in gender equality and leave the twitter trolls to it.

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—Picture: Flickr/Moodboard Photography

Anita Copley works for the Presiding Officer of the National Assembly for Wales, Dame Rosemary Butler AM who launched the Women in Public Life campaign in 2012.

You can find out more about  “Men on our Side” discussion in Wales  on Thursday 12th March by  visiting the Women Making a Difference website.

‘Men don’t have problems, they cause them’ is now the only politically correct thing you can say about men

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There is now a pervasive drive to limit the discussion of men and masculinity to a single, poisonous, narrative: Men don’t have problems, they cause them. This is how it’s happening in schools, universities, across the media and even in the UN itself.

— This is article #99 in our series of #100Voices4Men and boys 

On Monday, The Times reported on the Raising Awareness and Prevention initiative – a project in which a former New York sex-crime prosecutor goes into London schools to lecture boys on how porn is generating a rise in misogyny. The article starts with this sentence: “Mission impossible: one hour to re-programme teenage boys’ sexual manners so they are fit for a feminist world”.

It ends with this: “These are boys any parent would be proud of and they are also now scarred for life. Any time they imagine doing something furtive online, it will trigger the thought that adults of influence – maybe even some formidable American women – are seeing into their souls via their search history. Mission accomplished.”

This isn’t sex education. It’s indoctrination, bordering on abuse. It’s also just one example of what is now a pervasive drive to limit the discussion of men and masculinity to a single narrative: Men don’t have problems, they cause them.

‘Good Lad’ workshop

The boundaries of what some people would like to see as permissible speech about men was summed up earlier this month, when rugby players at Oxford University took part in a ‘Good Lad’ workshop, aimed at combatting what the organisers say is a crisis of sexual assault and harassment on campus.

In 2009, another men’s group was set up at Oxford University, this time not aimed at teaching men how to stop harassing women, but as a space for young men to explore what it means to be a man in contemporary UK society. The group was vociferously condemned as “reactionary and ridiculous” by the very same campaigners who say that male students should take part in forums such as the ‘Good Lad’ workshop.

At the time, Olivia Bailey, then NUS national women’s officer, said: “What exactly will a men’s society do? To suggest that men need a specific space to be ‘men’ is ludicrous, when everywhere you turn you will find male-dominated spaces.”

You can speak up as a man, as long as it’s to apologise

So, just to be clear, the only time men are permitted to come together to talk about their experiences of being men, is when they hold themselves in contrition in an attempt prevent themselves from abusing women? Right. OK then.

But student campaigners aren’t the only ones committed to controlling the conversation about what it means to be a man. In January of this year, the Southbank Centre held the Being A Man festival, the first of its kind in the UK and organised by the same people who run the well-established, feminist-orientated, Women of the World Festival.

I was genuinely excited at the prospect of such a high-profile event that would put a vibrant discussion of men and masculinity at the heart of the UK’s cultural establishment. Except that isn’t what happened. What actually took place was a series of ideological set pieces, in which prominent feminists and their allies told us what they think men are and how we need to change.

Over the course of two days, we were told that men should be feminists, but offered no view on why they shouldn’t be; that male violence against women is a problem, but given no views on the problem of female perpetrators and male victims; that porn is bad for you, but offered no perspectives on how men can explore, express and celebrate their sexuality. And so on.

HeForShe

In the run-up to the festival, the organisers arranged a series of panel discussions among men to explore what the big issues for men are that the festival should address. From the line-up of speakers at the event, it’s hard not to conclude they didn’t simply exclude any voices that weren’t in line with their own feminist worldview.

It’s one thing if student campaigners and metropolitan pundits try to limit what you can say about men, but it’s quite another when the UN gets in on the act. The UN’s recently-launched HeForShe campaign, championed by Emma Watson, calls on men to help end violence against women – and who wouldn’t want to help do that? But the glaring, frankly bizarre, elephant in the room is that the campaign deliberately, explicitly omits concern for male victims of violence.

This is the pledge the UN is asking men to sign up to: “I commit to take action against all forms of violence and discrimination faced by women and girls.” Discrimination can be a very subjective topic, but the UN’s data on violence is unequivocal, globally men and boys are almost four times more likely to be murdered than women and girls.

These messages are being targeted at boys and young men at ages when they are most vulnerable and insecure about their place in the world. The narrative itself excludes discussion of the impact this is having on young men, or of the problems they face due to their own gender.

Young men ‘shouted at and publicly humiliated’

insideMAN recently took the unusual step of actually asking young men how they feel about the conversation that is being had about them, rather than with them. The responses of these teenagers, who are relentlessly subjected to social media propaganda about the failures of their sex – from EveryDaySexism, to Hollaback, to the FCKH8 video – should stand as a wakeup call.

They said that if they make any attempt to contradict these prevailing messages, they “will draw fire… so the only option is to shut up”. Asked what conditions would make them feel able speak their minds, they said “they would need a safe space where they could feel confident they would not be shouted at and publicly humiliated; where their motives were not under immediate suspicion simply on account of their gender. They want protecting against fundamentalism by prominent and leading figures in the campaign for gender equality – people who can defend the sincerity of their interest and allow real discussion”.

But the concluding line of the article is most damning of all. “As the boys left our house they said how great it was to be able to have a sensible conversation about these things. I was struck that this was the first opportunity they had ever had to discuss gender equality without having to self-censor.”

Not to worry though, soon they’ll be at university and there’ll be Good Lad workshop they can go to.

By A Man

 

You can find all of the #100Voices4Men articles that will be published in the run up to International Men’s Day 2014 by clicking on this link—#100Voices4Men—and follow the discussion on twitter by searching for #100Voices4Men.

The views expressed in these articles are not the views of insideMAN editorial team. Whether you agree with the views expressed in this article or not we invite you to take take part in this important discussion, our only request is that you express yourself in a way that ensures everyone’s voice can be heard.

You can join the #100Voices4Men discussion by commenting below; by following us on Twitter @insideMANmag and Facebook or by emailing insideMANeditor@gmail.com. 

Emma Watson calls on men to back women’s rights campaign

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Harry Potter star Emma Watson has launched a global campaign to mobilize one billion men and boys as advocates of change in ending inequalities that women and girls face globally.

Speaking at the launch of the UN Women campaign, called “HeForShe”, the British actress, who made a reported £10m playing Hermione Grainger, said:

“It is time that we all see gender as a spectrum instead of two sets of opposing ideals. We should stop defining each other by what we are not, and start defining ourselves by who we are.”

According to Watson, men are restricted by socially constructed concepts of masculinity. “Men don’t have the benefits of equality, either,” she said. “We don’t want to talk about men being imprisoned by gender stereotypes but I can see that they are”.

The 26-year-old, who became a UN Women, goodwill ambassador in July, said she has seen young men who are suffering from illness being “unable to ask for help for fear it will make them less of a man” and the notion of “male success” is making men “fragile and insecure”.

Watson spoke briefly about her father, who became a weekend dad when he separated from her mother. “I’ve seen my father’s role as a parent being valued less by society,” she said.

The actress claimed that liberating men from narrow concepts of manhood and masculinity would benefit women. “If men don’t have to be aggressive, women won’t be compelled to be submissive, she said. “If men don’t need to control, women won’t have to be controlled.”

Speaking of her experience as a feminist, Watson said that “fighting for women’s rights has too often become synonymous with man-hating”. Her definition of feminism, she said, is “the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities. It is the theory of political, economic and social equality of the sexes”.

Watson told the audience, which included the UN secretary general, Ban Ki Moon, that “both men and women should feel free to be sensitive [and] “both men and women should feel free to be strong”.

She added, “we can all be freer and this is what HeForShe is about, it’s about freedom”.

The aim of the UN’s HeForShe campaign is to get one billion men and boys around the globe to “commit to take action against all forms of violence and discrimination faced by women and girls”.

“I want men to take up this mantle so their daughters, sisters and mothers can be free from prejudice but also so their sons have permission to be vulnerable and human, too and in doing so, be a more true and complete version of themselves,” said Watson.

Tell us what you think. Will you be signing UN Women’s #He ForShe pledge?

If you liked this article and want to read more, follow us on Twitter @insideMANmag and Facebook

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Four reasons I won’t be one of the men signing Emma Watson’s #HeForShe pledge

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This week Emma Watson, she of Harry Potter fame, made headlines by making a rousing speech on gender equality, as she called for one billion men and boys to sign up to UN Women’s #HeForShe campaign.

Glen Poole of insideMAN gives four reasons he won’t be taking the #HeForShe pledge.

1. IT’S SEXIST AGAINST MEN AND WOMEN

There were two comments I loved in Emma Watson’s speech for UN Women:

“Both men and women should feel free to be sensitive. Both men and women should feel free to be strong.”

“I’ve seen my father’s role as a parent being valued less by society.”

One of the reasons we don’t value men’s parenting role is that we still expect fathers to stoically take on being the family’s protector and provider. Any man who transgresses this norm, whether he’s a “househusband” or an “absent father”, is viewed as not being a “real man”.

We collectively create the expectation of what makes a “real man” in lots of different ways. One way we do this is through campaigns about gender equality that present a pantomime view of the world where “women HAVE problems and men ARE problems”. In this worldview, men are basically offered one of two roles—the hero or the villain. We are seen as either causing the world’s problems or solving the world’s problems.

The #HeForShe campaign that Emma Watson wants us to sign up to is just more of the same sexist nonsense. Note which side of the equation men and women are placed in the name of the #HeForShe campaign. Men and boys are once again defined as the STRONG protectors of women and girls who, in turn, are presented as the poor SENSITIVE victims of men’s evil patriarchy. So where is Emma Watson’s brave new world where women can be strong and men can be sensitive? It certainly isn’t to be found in the #HeForShe campaign that she is championing.

So no Emma, I won’t be signing up for a campaign that defines and limits the role that men and women can play based purely on our gender, because that’s sexist.

 2. IT’S A FEMINIST CAMPAIGN

One of the key things that unites UN Women, Emma Watson and the #HeForShe campaign is that they are all feminist. I have no issue with people choosing to define themselves as feminists and I just don’t happen to be one myself. Nor am I an anti-feminist.

If I must define myself in the relation to the dominant (and dominating) worldview in gender politics then all you need to know about me is that I have the words “non feminist” running through me like a stick of seaside rock from my hometown of Blackpool.

This is not an uncommon male viewpoint. The vast majority of men and boys in the world are not feminists. That being the case, simple logic tells you that if you want one billion of us to sign up to something….DON’T MAKE IT FEMINIST!

So, again, no Emma, I won’t be signing up for a feminist campaign on gender equality that requires me to think like a feminist, because that’s fundamentalist (and I’m not a feminist).

3. IT’S RUN BY UN WOMEN

Let me be clear here, I have no issue with feminists running feminist campaigns anymore than I have an issue with conservatives running conservatives campaigns or Christians running Christian campaigns—it’s exactly what I expect feminists, Christians and conservatives to do.

However, if you want to run a campaign that attracts a large number of people—say for example one billion men and boys—then you really need to design campaigns that are inclusive of a truly diverse range of people and viewpoints.

UN Women is a feminist initiative. Despite the claims it makes on the #HeForShe website, UN Women has no intention of creating “a solidarity movement for gender equality” because UN Women does not stand for gender equality. The clue is the word “Women”.

As its name suggests, what UN Women exists to do is identify all the areas where women and girls are unequal and ignores all the areas where men and boys are unequal. This shouldn’t really come as a surprise to anyone with a basic awareness of gender politics. Nobody expects the Cats Protection League to help rehome Llamas, because even though they are an animal welfare charity, their focus is on cats not llamas.

UN Women is the same, they don’t help men, boys or llamas. Their focus is on helping women and girls. The difference with UN Women is that while it ignores the issues  that men and boys face, it still presents itself as the world’s leading authority on gender equality.

Is it really too radical an idea to expect that global experts on gender equality should identify the major gender inequalities experienced by men, women, girls and boys and seek to address all of them? Apparently, as far as supporters of UN Women like Emma Watson are concerned, there is no need for the world’s leading authority on gender equality to consider the problems faced by men and boys.

So once again, no Emma, I won’t be signing up for a UN Women campaign on gender equality, because in my experience UN Women is a grossly hypocritical organisation that doesn’t promote equality for all genders.

4. IT’S REALLY NOT ABOUT GENDER EQUALITY

As the Guardian columnist Ally Fogg pointed out with brilliant simplicity this week, there are “five little words” in the #HeForShe pledge that UN Women wants men and boys to sign, that “betray Emma Watson”. This is the statement that Emma Watson wants men and boys to pledge our allegiance to:

“Gender equality is not only a women’s issue it is a human rights issue that requires my participation. I commit to take action against all forms of violence and discrimination…FACED BY WOMEN AND GIRLS”.

This statement seems so blatantly, unequivocally sexist that it’s hard to imagine how anyone who genuinely believes in the human rights issue that is gender equality could put their name to such nonsense.

Discrimination can be a very subjective topic to try and unpick, but the data on violence from the United Nations is unequivocal, men and boys are than four to five times more likely to die a violent death than women and girls, so you simply cannot create a gender equal world if you ignore violence against men and boys.

I care deeply, madly, passionately about gender equality and my version of what that looks like will differ from Ally Fogg’s and Emma Watson’s and many other people who have a view on the subject—and this is how it should be—we should welcome a broad spectrum of views into this vital conversation about the gendered nature of our human experience.

Watson says she believes that “it is time that we all perceive gender on a spectrum instead of two sets” of binary opposites. Well, it’s an interesting concept, but the reality is that she is supporting UN Women (not UN Gender) from a feminist (not a “humanist”) perspective to run a campaign called #HeForShe (not #SheForHe; #WeForShe or #WeForWe), so she is hardly using her power and influence to put what she preaches into practice.

So one more time, no Emma, I won’t be signing up for the hypocritical, feminist, UN Women #HeForShe campaign because I happen to care about gender equality and for me that means bringing together people with a diverse range of perspectives to address the gender inequalities that everyone faces, including men and boys.

Tell us what you think. Will you be signing UN Women’s #He ForShe pledge?

If you liked this article and want to read more, follow us on Twitter @insideMANmag and Facebook

Article by Glen Poole author of the book Equality For Men

Tell us what you think. Will you be signing UN Women’s #He ForShe pledge?

If you liked this article and want to read more, follow us on Twitter @insideMANmag and Facebook

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