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‘Men don’t have problems, they cause them’ is now the only politically correct thing you can say about men

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There is now a pervasive drive to limit the discussion of men and masculinity to a single, poisonous, narrative: Men don’t have problems, they cause them. This is how it’s happening in schools, universities, across the media and even in the UN itself.

— This is article #99 in our series of #100Voices4Men and boys 

On Monday, The Times reported on the Raising Awareness and Prevention initiative – a project in which a former New York sex-crime prosecutor goes into London schools to lecture boys on how porn is generating a rise in misogyny. The article starts with this sentence: “Mission impossible: one hour to re-programme teenage boys’ sexual manners so they are fit for a feminist world”.

It ends with this: “These are boys any parent would be proud of and they are also now scarred for life. Any time they imagine doing something furtive online, it will trigger the thought that adults of influence – maybe even some formidable American women – are seeing into their souls via their search history. Mission accomplished.”

This isn’t sex education. It’s indoctrination, bordering on abuse. It’s also just one example of what is now a pervasive drive to limit the discussion of men and masculinity to a single narrative: Men don’t have problems, they cause them.

‘Good Lad’ workshop

The boundaries of what some people would like to see as permissible speech about men was summed up earlier this month, when rugby players at Oxford University took part in a ‘Good Lad’ workshop, aimed at combatting what the organisers say is a crisis of sexual assault and harassment on campus.

In 2009, another men’s group was set up at Oxford University, this time not aimed at teaching men how to stop harassing women, but as a space for young men to explore what it means to be a man in contemporary UK society. The group was vociferously condemned as “reactionary and ridiculous” by the very same campaigners who say that male students should take part in forums such as the ‘Good Lad’ workshop.

At the time, Olivia Bailey, then NUS national women’s officer, said: “What exactly will a men’s society do? To suggest that men need a specific space to be ‘men’ is ludicrous, when everywhere you turn you will find male-dominated spaces.”

You can speak up as a man, as long as it’s to apologise

So, just to be clear, the only time men are permitted to come together to talk about their experiences of being men, is when they hold themselves in contrition in an attempt prevent themselves from abusing women? Right. OK then.

But student campaigners aren’t the only ones committed to controlling the conversation about what it means to be a man. In January of this year, the Southbank Centre held the Being A Man festival, the first of its kind in the UK and organised by the same people who run the well-established, feminist-orientated, Women of the World Festival.

I was genuinely excited at the prospect of such a high-profile event that would put a vibrant discussion of men and masculinity at the heart of the UK’s cultural establishment. Except that isn’t what happened. What actually took place was a series of ideological set pieces, in which prominent feminists and their allies told us what they think men are and how we need to change.

Over the course of two days, we were told that men should be feminists, but offered no view on why they shouldn’t be; that male violence against women is a problem, but given no views on the problem of female perpetrators and male victims; that porn is bad for you, but offered no perspectives on how men can explore, express and celebrate their sexuality. And so on.

HeForShe

In the run-up to the festival, the organisers arranged a series of panel discussions among men to explore what the big issues for men are that the festival should address. From the line-up of speakers at the event, it’s hard not to conclude they didn’t simply exclude any voices that weren’t in line with their own feminist worldview.

It’s one thing if student campaigners and metropolitan pundits try to limit what you can say about men, but it’s quite another when the UN gets in on the act. The UN’s recently-launched HeForShe campaign, championed by Emma Watson, calls on men to help end violence against women – and who wouldn’t want to help do that? But the glaring, frankly bizarre, elephant in the room is that the campaign deliberately, explicitly omits concern for male victims of violence.

This is the pledge the UN is asking men to sign up to: “I commit to take action against all forms of violence and discrimination faced by women and girls.” Discrimination can be a very subjective topic, but the UN’s data on violence is unequivocal, globally men and boys are almost four times more likely to be murdered than women and girls.

These messages are being targeted at boys and young men at ages when they are most vulnerable and insecure about their place in the world. The narrative itself excludes discussion of the impact this is having on young men, or of the problems they face due to their own gender.

Young men ‘shouted at and publicly humiliated’

insideMAN recently took the unusual step of actually asking young men how they feel about the conversation that is being had about them, rather than with them. The responses of these teenagers, who are relentlessly subjected to social media propaganda about the failures of their sex – from EveryDaySexism, to Hollaback, to the FCKH8 video – should stand as a wakeup call.

They said that if they make any attempt to contradict these prevailing messages, they “will draw fire… so the only option is to shut up”. Asked what conditions would make them feel able speak their minds, they said “they would need a safe space where they could feel confident they would not be shouted at and publicly humiliated; where their motives were not under immediate suspicion simply on account of their gender. They want protecting against fundamentalism by prominent and leading figures in the campaign for gender equality – people who can defend the sincerity of their interest and allow real discussion”.

But the concluding line of the article is most damning of all. “As the boys left our house they said how great it was to be able to have a sensible conversation about these things. I was struck that this was the first opportunity they had ever had to discuss gender equality without having to self-censor.”

Not to worry though, soon they’ll be at university and there’ll be Good Lad workshop they can go to.

By A Man

 

You can find all of the #100Voices4Men articles that will be published in the run up to International Men’s Day 2014 by clicking on this link—#100Voices4Men—and follow the discussion on twitter by searching for #100Voices4Men.

The views expressed in these articles are not the views of insideMAN editorial team. Whether you agree with the views expressed in this article or not we invite you to take take part in this important discussion, our only request is that you express yourself in a way that ensures everyone’s voice can be heard.

You can join the #100Voices4Men discussion by commenting below; by following us on Twitter @insideMANmag and Facebook or by emailing insideMANeditor@gmail.com. 

Why is the NUS waging an ideological campaign to vilify a disadvantaged minority group?

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Two weeks ago the NUS launched its latest attack on “lad culture” at UK universities, with the publication of a survey of students’ experiences of sexism, with the accompanying claim that harassment “is rife on campus”.

The survey found 37% of women and 12% of men who responded said they had faced unwelcome sexual advances, while 36% of women who took part said they had experienced unwanted sexual comments about their body, compared with 16% of men.

The first question that springs to mind, is why findings showing that a third to fifty percent of those experiencing sexism are male students, isn’t also evidence of “ladette culture”?

The report also included these quotes from students who took part, neither of which were highlighted in the accompanying press release or articles:

‘Lad Culture Summit’

“I think it is a little overdramatizing and sexist in that it only looks at the over sexualisation of women. As a woman I do not feel that I am vulnerable and that I do go out to events dressed sexily because I want to and I can handle myself.” Woman, 3rd year university

“Although I have witnessed other men making sexual comments amongst themselves about a woman’s personal appearance, I notice that this behaviour amongst women discussing a man’s physical attractiveness is just as common and deemed much more socially acceptable!” Man, 2nd year university

But the most important question is why, in light of the deepening crisis in young men’s university attendance and educational achievement in general, does the NUS feel that “lad culture” is the most pressing gender issue on campus in the first place?

Since 2010, the NUS has produced a series of high-profile reports, consultations and surveys aimed at revealing what it says is a widespread climate of sexism against female students at UK universities, including a “Lad Culture Summit” in February of this year, covered with live updates on the Guardian website.

Male students a ‘disadvantaged group’

If there is an issue with “lad culture” on campus, then clearly it should be addressed. But the NUS is tasked with representing all of its members – not just female students. So why has it simultaneously downplayed male students’ experiences of sexism and produced no research into the issues facing men at university?

In January this year UCAS reported that there were now a third more girls applying for university than boys, leading the head of the organisation to state that male students are becoming “a disadvantaged group”.

Then in September, exam results revealed the gap had widened even further, with 52,000 less men than women allocated places, jumping from 46,000 fewer places for male students last year.

This disparity hides even starker figures at individual campuses and on particular courses. In 2013, the Guardian published a gender breakdown of students across universities and subject areas, with the conclusion: “The sheer number of female students means that they outnumber boys on the majority of courses, but those most dominated by women include veterinary science and subjects allied to medicine and education.”

What are male students’ needs?

At 20 institutions there were twice as many female fulltime undergraduates as male undergraduates. At Queen Margaret University, Edinburgh, the Courtauld Institute of Art and the Institute of Education, respectively 79.5%, 83.3% and 85.7% of undergraduate students were female.

In terms of subject areas, law, veterinary science, education and subjects allied to medicine, respectively 61.7%, 79.5%, 80.4% and 82.1% of undergraduates were female.

These figures beg the question, what must it be like for a young man to be so completely outnumbered by female students? How does this impact on his experience of university? To what extent does this imbalance affect male students’ ability to be heard and have their educational needs acknowledged, particularly in a climate that appears to cast male students as privileged, potential aggressors?

These figures also throw into question the claims by the NUS that there is widespread sexism against female students on campus. On courses and at universities where 80% of students are female, are female students really facing a culture that is “rife” with sexual harassment and sexism?

NUS has no men’s officer

I asked the NUS if they had done any research into men’s experience of university in light of the gender gap on campus, or if they were planning any work to raise awareness of the crisis in male applicants. The press office declined to answer repeated requests for this information. From the list of reports published on the NUS research website, none address male-specific concerns of students. The NUS has a women’s officer, but no men’s officer. The press office said they did not know if there were any NUS men’s officers at individual universities.

This is from the NUS press office response to my questions.

“The plain fact is that there are too few women in leadership positions, whether in the student movement, education, workplace or wider society – and those that are face intolerable barriers.

“Having the post of women’s officer is not much to ask in the face of such inequalities and they are often campaigning on campuses for things men already have. The sexism that women face is part of the system and exists at every level of our lives. It’s important to remember that the remaining posts in students’ unions, often four or five of them, campaign on behalf of men too.”

‘To suggest that men need a specific space to be ‘men’ is ludicrous’

Leaving aside the debatable question as to whether the lack of women in leadership roles is due to the “intolerable barriers” they face, or what exactly the “things men already have” on campus but women don’t are; surely the role of the NUS is to represent students, not to campaign for more women in Parliament or on the boards of FTSE 100 companies?

But the NUS’ underlying attitude to the welfare of male students was most-starkly revealed in 2009 — a year before the first report that led to its anti-lad culture campaign — when students at Manchester and Oxford universities set up men’s societies, to discuss what it means to be a man in contemporary society and address issues such as men’s mental health, testicular cancer and men’s experience of domestic violence.

The societies were ferociously attacked by student women’s officers, with Olivia Bailey, then NUS national women’s officer, stating: “Discrimination against men on the basis of gender is so unusual as to be non-existent, so what exactly will a men’s society do?”

“To suggest that men need a specific space to be ‘men’ is ludicrous, when everywhere you turn you will find male-dominated spaces,” she added.

By “everywhere you turn”, she presumably did not mean virtually every university in the UK.

The stated aim of the lad culture campaign is to ensure that “students’ unions and universities must work together to create campuses that are welcoming, safe and supportive to all”.

It is hard to see how an organisation whose role is to represent all students, yet focuses exclusively on the problems faced by women, while simultaneously vilifying male students and dismissing their concerns, will achieve this goal.

By Dan Bell

Do you think the NUS should be doing more to support male students? What do you think about the lad culture campaign? Are you a student, what do you think of the NUS’ approach to gender issues in general?

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