What would you do if you had to choose between putting your children or your job first? One dad explains how he faced this question and came up with an answer that he hopes will work for his whole family (including himself). 

Have you ever had one of those life-changing decisions to make? A decision where there is no right or wrong answer, but the path you choose will define your life, at least in the medium-term? Well that’s something we’re having to toy with at the moment.

The beginning seems a good place to start…

After five-years working in the high-pressured, long-hours world of management consultancy, I’d lost my motivation and needed a change. After a few interviews with similar companies, I decided consultancy was no longer for me. Neither was commuting or spending time away from home anymore. I’d often leave early on a Monday and not come back until late on a Friday, taking in the wonders of places like Chatham, Reading and Hastings in the process!

I went back to basics and tried to figure out what I was passionate about. This led me to sports, particularly football. I somehow managed to find a job in football that was willing to pay me the same wage for working just 10-minutes from my house. I handed in my notice and started my new job. Not wanting to go into too much detail, but the concept was good but the delivery was poor. The MD didn’t have a clue and the majority of other employees were not interested in football and didn’t have the required skills.

Should I be at home helping or at work earning?

It soon became clear that the company was in financial trouble too and that it was too late for me to help turn the fortunes around. This eventually led to a failure to pay wages to staff and me taking the decision to hand in my notice after becoming disillusioned with the MD’s incompetence. This was just over a year ago. I spent the next few months looking for a job whilst bringing in a bit of money here and there through various bits of freelance work. I managed to get an interview in December with a sports research company, a second interview in January and was offered the job with them the other day.

With a baby on the way, do I take the job which guarantees a salary and other benefits to ensure the family is supported financially, at the detriment of commuting over two hours each day and spending less time with my new family. Or do I turn down the job to continue my freelance career, which doesn’t guarantee and income, but means I can be at home with the wife and sprog when it comes along.

This is the crux of the predicament. Without a crystal ball, how do you know what is the right or wrong thing to do? When you’re at a junction, which path do you follow when both directions look appealing but for different reasons? I guess this is the life of an adult and something that is only going to intensify when I’m a parent.