This morning will see the first broadcast of PonderLab, a brand new men’s issues radio show, live on All FM 96.9 every Wednesday from 9-10am.

This week’s episode will take a look at the male mid-life crisis, celebrate Barbie’s birthday, and see how the show’s presenter deals with the shock of a new start at the gym, plus more besides.

Here the show’s producer and presenter, Paul Davies, explains why he believes there is a need for more platforms such PonderLab to address the issues facing men.

I’ve been asked why I’ve decided to make a radio show/podcast about men’s issues. Well it’s simply because there isn’t much out there in popular culture that really engages with men. It’s also become apparent that men’s issues have become a subject of much derision. To be honest, there isn’t enough being done to challenge the status quo. Meanwhile issues like male suicide continue to rise and misinformation spreads. So here is the full story as to why I wanted to debate men’s issues…

I’m not an anything…

I often go through little bouts of insomnia where I end up surfing the internet for nothing in particular. Recently I’ve discovered the oh-so-magical world of radical feminism, neo-masculinity, social justice warriors and men’s rights activists. On one side we have people who claim that you hate women if you are not a feminist. On the other we’ve got men getting in touch with their alpha status in a bid to stop being a “pussy”. I would like to be a million miles away from both of these groups. For some reason we’re all being coerced into nailing our colours to a mast. To have a point of view that falls outside these polarized ideologies makes me a ‘weak beta male that wants to deny women their rights’. I’m nothing of the sort. Let me explain.

Women have battled hard to get rights. The right to vote and the right to fair pay are two very good examples. It blows my mind that people had to go out onto the streets and demand these rights. I was taught about it at school, I’ve seen films about it (“Made in Dagenham” being a fantastic example) and I’ve read so many accounts about suffrage. I think we forget these things at our peril. But there are struggles that we have forgotten and they have put the equality debate at a disadvantage.

Women over the age of 30 got the right to vote in 1918. It was only 34 years prior that male suffrage entitled men paying an annual rental of £10 or all those holding land valued at £10 their right to vote.  It sill meant that 40% of adult males were still without the vote. The same act that granted women the right to vote in 1918, abolished property and other restrictions that affected men.  The story that I believed for much of my adult life ignored the suffrage of men and that alarms me. Why is it that we seem to only get half of the story?

Self-censorship

It’s only from doing a bit of research for this article that I discovered that the majority of men suffered the same inequality as women when it comes to voting rights. The interesting thing is that when I think about that fact, my stomach lurches. There is an internal self-censorship that tells me that I must not demean the idea that women have suffered in their struggle for equality. By acknowledging that working class men also faced discrimination, a part of my brain feels like I have committed a hate crime. I don’t feel comfortable. Sadly that’s because the narrative that I am familiar with is that men are the perpetrators and women are the victims. But, as I’ve discovered, it’s not as clear cut as that.

The fight for rights

When you look at the hard won rights of the worker in the UK, both men and women had to fight for them. There is no denying that it took longer for women to catch up, but working class men have never had it easy themselves. Those with power and money have fought hard to keep a divide between them and the lower classes. Let’s not forget those women in high society that were anti-suffrage. The fight against inequality should be against the establishment and not against men. The average man in the street has no power over women, nor does he want it. I’m not a feminist, but I believe that women should be treated equally. I believe that men should also be treated equally too.

Some are more equal than others

So here we are. After years of fighting and campaigning both women and men should be applauded for the steps forward in equality. Sadly the struggle that men have faced has been widely forgotten or disregarded. The struggle of the working class man isn’t a narrative that sits comfortably alongside feminism. This is because feminism relies on the narrative that men have had it easy. We didn’t have to fight for the vote, we didn’t have to fight for a living wage, we didn’t have to fight for equality in the workplace. But here’s the thing… We did. It’s just that my teachers forgot to tell me about that. Films don’t celebrate unfashionable male suffrage. According to popular culture – it didn’t happen. But now men are starting to talk about their own equality and the issues that face them.

Come on… Men have all the rights… Don’t they?

Do men have all the rights?  No. They don’t. But some feminists seem to think so. Type in “White Male” into Google. It will do the familiar auto-complete based on widely searched terms. In all cases it seems to add the word “privilege”. This is because many (if not all) feminists believe that white men were born into privilege. Most of the men in my family, including myself, we’re born into an ex-mining community with no investment, jobs or future. I could look forward to a life of unskilled low-paid work or take a far more risky path. I left my home with no money and no employment. I was technically homeless while I tried desperately to find somewhere to live in Manchester. Did being white and male open any doors for me? No! Here’s why.

It’s hard to find demographic data on homelessness, but the figures from 2011 show that 84% of the homeless are men. Over half of those who are homeless are white (55%). I don’t think anyone who sleeps rough would consider themselves to be privileged. If you add into the mix my history of depression and suicide I fall into a very familiar pattern of homelessness. At the time I was doing a mixture of rough sleeping and staying in B&B’s in Chester while I looked frantically for a place to stay. A friend offered me a spare room thankfully after just a week. Some aren’t so lucky.

In terms of suicide men aren’t privileged at all. Male suicide outweighs female by 4-1 and that gap is growing. These figures only take into account those who are successful in ending their lives. We don’t know how many men actually make an attempt or think suicidal thoughts. I don’t feel privileged that I’ve ended up in hospital more times than I care to remember because of my mental illness.

I’ve had to work damn hard to get the opportunities I’ve had. I’ve never had people give me things just for being a man or for being white. But feminists tell me that I’ve had it easier than them. They tell me that men, like me, conspire to keep them down. I do nothing of the sort. I have no logical reason to do so. But when it comes to inequality I hear arguments on both sides, both with their fair share of the legitimate and the idiotic.

Feminism is about the rights of men too!

While some may suggest that feminism is the fight for male equality as much as female equality, that doesn’t always seem to be the case. Here is one very chilling example as to why feminism is not on the side of men. Even though a third of domestic abuse victims are men and the number of women convicted for domestic violence rose by 30% in the year to April 2015, from 3,735 to 4,866; when the issue of male victims was highlighted in The Independent one feminist blogger wrote: “Denying women’s much greater suffering as victims of domestic and/or sexual violence is a political act.” The thing is, no one denied anything of the sort. They gave the facts as they were. But the blogger felt compelled to debunk the facts, putting forward the age-old argument that women are the victims and men are the perpetrators. The use of the phrase “political act” in her blog is an irony lost on the author.  But what about the general discussion of men’s issues in society?  Well…

The 19th of November 2015 saw “International Men’s Day” take place — a day when we raise awareness of issues that men face. The date made headlines, but not for the reasons you might think. When a group of MPs suggested debating issues around the event they were met with derision. Jess Phillips MP found the idea laughable claiming that, “everyday is International Men’s Day.” Meanwhile, a group of students and staff at York University got a programme of events to mark the day cancelled. In fact feminists have derailed so many similar events across the world claiming that men’s freedom of speech is nothing short of misogyny.

You’re either with us or against us.

Some feminists argue that you are either with them or against them. I’m neither. I want to discuss the things that affect me in the way I want to. To claim that men don’t have the right to talk about men’s issues without acknowledging some non-existent hatred of women is nothing short of totalitarian thought. It’s as if we have to do what they want or they’ll deny us our right to speak, debate, think or even to be. That takes us to the other extreme. The rise of neo-masculinity — a group of people who are as fragile and damaged as the women they rally against. Meanwhile the rest of us are cannon fodder, sitting in the middle. We become the enemy of both for not choosing a side.  But there is a side that we can all choose, one that doesn’t favour race, gender, sexuality, age or nationality.  It’s called Egalitarianism – which is the belief in the principle that all people are equal and deserve equal rights and opportunities: a fairer, more egalitarian society.

So to everyone fighting for equality and their rights — more power to you! But a word of warning: Don’t scapegoat an entire group of people for the actions of a minority. Don’t deny anyone their right to debate. Don’t claim to be campaigning for my rights when I’m big enough to do it myself. Finally, do not think that because I don’t identify in a certain way that I am automatically your enemy.

This is why I chose to start a debate about men’s issues. I want a positive platform that’s out there in the open. It’s not behind closed doors so you can keep an eye on what we’re up too. It’s sad that we have to do it like this, but it will help. I hope that the show can engage with the vulnerable, the disenfranchised, the lonely and everyone in between. The most important thing I want to say is…

We’re all in it together.

To read more of Paul’s writing and learn more about PonderLab, visit the show’s blog and Facebook page here and here