Men’s Insights  

The privilege and sacrifice of being a stay at home dad

 0  75

Being a stay at home dad is hard work and full of rewards says daddy blogger John Adams.

—This is article #24 in our series of #100Voices4Men and boys 

I feel blessed to be a stay at home dad. It’s a real honour to spend so much more time with my children compared to the majority of other men.

I won’t pretend there aren’t elements to my life I would change if given the opportunity. The school run springs to mind as something I could happily live without. I’d also welcome having more money and I’m desperately worried that my pension will be desperately underfunded.

Even though I have these worries, spending so much time with my kids is wonderful. If I think of the summer that’s just passed, we whiled away loads of time splashing about in a paddling pool. It’s amazing how children, let alone adults, can have so much fun with something so simple.

The small moments that make a big impression

I also have an old video stored on my phone of Helen playing in a park. The film is about three and a half years old and was shot not long after I gave up full time employment.

The film shows a magical moment. A train goes past on a nearby railway line and Helen, who was toddling down a path, stops in her tracks and says “Ooooooo, choo choo traayyynn.” The excitement in her voice is immeasurable.

In writing, that possibly doesn’t appear too impressive. It was simply one of those lovely moments I’d never have been involved with if I’d been a full time working dad.

There have been many other special moments; teaching the girls new words, encouraging Elizabeth to use a slide, baking cakes, going on ‘number hunts’ in the garden. Sure, my wife does many of these things too, but not nearly as much as I do.

Make a statement and break the rules

I won’t lie. It can be a very lonely existence. During office hours the only other person I generally get to see is my youngest daughter. As I alluded to above, it is also not a path to follow if you have a fondness for material possessions and wealth. You will be disappointed.

If, however, you want to do something that makes a statement and breaks rules, being a stay at home dad could be the route for you. You often hear mothers saying that childcare is very hard work and it’s no different being a dad. My wife often tells me I have the more demanding role and she manages a huge number of people!

It’s tough, financially hard and not always very sociable. Nonetheless it is rewarding and I wouldn’t want things any other way.

—Picture credit: Flickr/BoogaFrito

John Adams is a married stay at home dad with two young daughters. He was previously a journalist and PR / communications professional but gave this up in 2010 to be a homemaker and look after the children.

In 2012 he launched a parenting blog focused on his experiences as a “man that holds the babies” called  and he now writes for a variety of different publications in addition to his own blog and writes regular articles for insideMAN.

You can find all of the #100Voices4Men articles that will be published in the run up to International Men’s Day 2014 by clicking on this link—#100Voices4Men—and follow the discussion on twitter by searching for #100Voices4Men.


The views expressed in these articles are not the views of insideMAN editorial team. Whether you agree with the views expressed in this article or not we invite you to take take part in this important discussion, our only request is that you express yourself in a way that ensures everyone’s voice can be heard.


You can join the #100Voices4Men discussion by commenting below; by following us on Twitter @insideMANmag and Facebook or by emailing [email protected]

Latest Tweets

Latest Facebook Posts

We’re publishing an amazing, real-life book of the best UK writers on men and masculinity!

To be the first to find out more and take part in this pioneering conversation about men and boys, add your name and email address below.