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Yes, we do need to speak about male violence

November 14, 2014 by Inside MAN 11 Comments

Guardian columnist Ally Fogg says that if we want to make a difference for men and boys, we can’t evade the fact that most serious violence is committed by men.

—This is article #70 in our series of #100Voices4Men and boys 

There is an exchange that plays out in the media on pretty much a daily basis. The moves have become so familiar we can see them performed almost as a ritual dance. In the aftermath of some tragic, violent incident – whether a mass shooting, a domestic homicide or a shocking sexual assault – a commentator with liberal or feminist leanings will describe the incident as an example of ‘male violence’ and, therefore, not just an isolated incident but part of a systematic pattern involving hundreds, thousands, millions of related incidents across the world each day.

There follows a storm of comments, social media updates and blogs as detractors – primarily but not exclusively male – throw up their digitised hands in horror and disgust. This is nothing to do with me! I’ve never killed anyone! Why are you blaming an entire gender for the crime of an individual?

The defensive reactions may be understandable, but are largely based on a misunderstanding. Saying that men have a problem with violence does not mean that all men are violent, any more than saying Britain has a problem with obesity means that all Britons are fat. In both examples, it means the phenomenon causes immense social harm and individual suffering, and occurs at levels far above those we should be willing to tolerate in a civilised society.

What about female perpetrators?  

Yes, women can also be violent, especially towards intimate partners and family members. However in recent years the men’s sector as a whole (and I include myself in that) has often become so fixated on demonstrating and documenting the extent of male victimisation at the hands of women that we may have lost sight of the bigger picture.

According to the UN’s estimates, there were more than 450,000 homicides globally last year. Not only were 95% of the killers male, so too were 80% of the victims. In England and Wales, 800,000 adult men were injured in a violent attack in 2013 and around three quarters of perpetrators were not their female partners, but other men. On the other side of the coin, around 37,000 men are in prison today as a consequence of their own violent behaviour. To deny or turn our eyes from the extent of men’s violence is to turn our backs on one of the most pressing and severe social and health issues facing men and boys across the world today.

Only once we acknowledge the scale of men’s violence can we begin to ask why it occurs. I suspect many people are uncomfortable with the suggestion that there is something inherently violent to masculinity. What we might instead call ‘male culture’ colours our attitudes to work and to leisure, to lifestyles and relationships, even to how we communicate and interact. That culture has too often included attitudes towards violence that are directly implicated in too much death and injury.

Are men conditioned to be violent? 

How many of us grew up believing that to be a man demanded that we be ‘tough’ and ‘hard,’ or in other words to be willing to endure and inflict violence? Such traits don’t always come easy, and too many boys still have them literally beaten into us by peers or, tragically, parents and other adults. Research has consistently shown that where formal or informal physical punishment is used, boys are beaten more regularly and more forcefully than girls.

At the same time, psychologists have long known the rough recipe for a violent adult. According to one study by Murray Straus, a child who grows up in a family where the adults are violent to each other is almost three times as likely to display violent behaviour as others. Another study found that a child subjected to physical abuse who also witnesses violent behaviour at first hand is between five and nine times as likely to become an abusive adult. It is true that not all violent adults lived through an especially violent childhood, and absolutely vital to understand that many, many people who experienced violence and abuse in childhood will never harm anyone in turn. Neither fact, however, should obscure the truth that violent adults – by which we most commonly mean violent men – are not born, they are made.

Nor does male violence exist in isolation from other male-specific issues. Only once we acknowledge and face up to the reality of male violence can we begin to unpick the complex relationship between men’s emotional isolation and unaddressed mental health needs, our tendency to self-medicate or escape into excessive alcohol and drug use and from there, the intimate link between intoxication and violent behaviour.

No I am not being anti-male 

It is not anti-man or misandrist to acknowledge that our society brutalises men and boys to a sufficient degree that some will become brutes. On the contrary, I would argue the misandrist position is to claim that men’s violence is an inescapable law of nature, some relic of evolution or neurobiology. Testosterone does not breed violence, violence breeds violence, and the evidence, I am happy to say, is all around us. Current levels of violent crime remain distressing, but are a fraction of what they were 20 years ago. The vast majority of men are not violent and the numbers who are get smaller all the time.

As mentioned above, 800,000 men were wounded in violent attacks last year, but the same statistic in 1994/5 was 2.4 million. Domestic violence, as estimated by the Crime Survey of England and Wales, has dropped 78% over the same time frame. The same story is playing out across the developed world. Nor is it just the effect of increased prison populations keeping violent offenders out of harm’s way. The number of children and young people entering the criminal justice system (ie being caught for the first time) is at its lowest since records began. Meanwhile the fastest growing section of the prison population over the past few years has been the over 65s.

The explanations for this phenomenal social change are hotly debated by criminologists but one thing is for sure, male biology has not evolved in a couple of decades. It is likely there are a variety of social and even environmental factors involved, I would suggest that it is no coincidence that the least violent generation of young men in living memory is the first to have been raised in the era of the rights of the child, in schools and homes that have increasingly eschewed violent punishments, with anti-bullying policies and where the social acceptability of violence of all sorts has been challenged and rejected as never before.

There is little doubt that men today are less violent, less aggressive, less militaristic than we have been at any time in living memory but there is still a long way to go. The journey will be driven not just by policy and politics but by the desire of all women, children and men to live in a safer, more peaceful world and the principal beneficiaries will be men ourselves.

—Picture credit: striatic

Ally Fogg is one of the UK’s leading media commentators on men’s issues. You can follow his writing on gender at freethought blogs and find him writing in various publications especially The Guardian. He’s also a regular tweeter @AllyFogg

You can find all of the #100Voices4Men articles that will be published in the run up to International Men’s Day 2014 by clicking on this link—#100Voices4Men—and follow the discussion on twitter by searching for #100Voices4Men.

The views expressed in these articles are not the views of insideMAN editorial team. Whether you agree with the views expressed in this article or not we invite you to take take part in this important discussion, our only request is that you express yourself in a way that ensures everyone’s voice can be heard.

You can join the #100Voices4Men discussion by commenting below; by following us on Twitter @insideMANmag and Facebook or by emailing insideMANeditor@gmail.com. 

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Filed Under: Men’s Issues Tagged With: #100Voices4Men, Ally Fogg, crime and gender, Male violence, violence against men and boys, violence against women and girls

  • Darren Ball

    It wouldn’t be misandrist to to claim that men’s violence is an inescapable law of nature, if indeed that statement was true – which is some ways it might be.

    If you raised a large group of boys and girls in identical dysfunctional violent environments, the boys would be more likely to become violent adults (perhaps excluding IPV).

    If you raise another group of girls and boys in identical loving warm environments, then very likely none would grow up to be violent adults.

    Males react differently to the same environment, so you can legitimately blame either the innate nature of males or their dysfunctional environment, but to my mind, it’s rather silly to blame men (as some do) for having innate characteristics which evolved symbiotically with female innate characteristics to produced the most advanced species on the planet. Our innate characteristics evolved for a reason and they are what they are.

    I would say the misandrist position is not to claim that men have an unfortunate innate characteristic, but rather it is misandrist to vilify them for having it. The proper response should be to recognise it, embrace it, and then condition it. It is our collective responsibility to raise boys into non-violent, well-adjusted, men: and if boys have special needs in this regard, then let’s give them that extra help.

  • Lewis

    In order to understand the cycle of violence, we must understand the root causes. A dangerous Pitbull Terrier isn’t aggressive because of it’s nature (as was once thought), but because of its upbringing; it is taught to be violent by its owners – we get that now.

    Likewise, as a society, we must come to understand that our states attitude to the family unit is damaging children. Damaged children become violent adults (whether that means a rapist or a politician). There’s a reason this was the most violent century ever witnessed.

    Divorce and out-of-wedlock childbirth are at all-time highs in much of the civilised world. The welfare state incentivises women to have children before a stable home has been established. Popular culture encourages flings with ‘bad boys’ and ‘dangerous men’ (ie bad fathers).

    Research indicates that the primary factors in the development of empathy – the major prerequisite for civilised and compassionate behaviour in life – are:

    (1) Access to outdoor play
    (2) A strong male role model in formative years.

    As a society, we are not facilitating (2). In fact, we are actively discouraging it with child benefits, lack of paternity equity, and one-sided alimony and custody laws.

    Fix families, and we fix childhood. Fix childhood, and we can make this such a better world.

  • Elly Tams

    I think Ally is wrong to present critics of the ‘male violence’ narrative as mainly men, and to suggest they are mainly mra men. There is growing resistance to lazy demonising gender steretotypes – of men and women – and it is coming from all genders. You only need to visit the #womenagainstfeminism tag on twitter or the tumblr of the same name to see how many women reject old-fashioned (and ally is being old fashioned) views of men as brutes, dominant and aggressive, with women as helpless victims. Prominent women writers such as Christina Hoff Summers have been challenging this view of men for years.

    I also think ally is wrong to cite prison statistics as proof of ‘male violence’. There is plenty of excellent research showing how prison and the criminal justice system are unfairly biased against men. Even for the same crimes men are much more likely to get a prison sentence than women. Books such as Policing The Crisis (Hall, S et al 2013 2nd edition) show how young black men for example are targeted and criminalised by police due to prejudice not violence. and there is a disproportionate number of young black men in prison.

    No matter how much Ally says ‘male violence’ is culturally produced, using the very concept is to give the impression it is something innate in men. The combination of a biological term – ‘male’ and a behavioural characteristic – ‘violence’ gives the impression of a ‘natural’ immutable quality. I think we need to stop talking about ‘male violence’ (and ‘toxic masculinity’) and start talking about discrimination in the cjs, poverty, unemployment, the ‘revolving door’ effect regarding men and prison and other socio-economic issues.

    If men need to be raised in loving supporting environments then maybe we should discuss men in more loving, supportive ways, not demonise them and blame them.

  • Ginkgo

    Elly,

    “I think Ally is wrong to present critics of the ‘male violence’ narrative as mainly men, and to suggest they are mainly mra men”

    He is going to have to re-assess this in the wake of GamerGate and a whole range of other recent developments and who actually comprises that movement. It was a lazy and sloppy assumption when he made it and now that laziness and sloppiness has become an embarrassingly obvious. Rachel Edwards: http://honeybadgerbrigade.com/2014/11/14/honey-badger-radio-notyourshield/

    “I also think ally is wrong to cite prison statistics as proof of ‘male violence’. ”

    Yeah, and this is really inexcusable sloppiness, as you point out, especially in a country where for instance F>M rape is almost impossible to charge as rape. There is really no excuse for anyone to take prison stats at face value, as if there are no issues of class and gender skewing those conviction rates and the stats drawn from them. And for a social critic to miss this is sad.

    “how many women reject old-fashioned (and ally is being old fashioned) views of men as brutes, dominant and aggressive, with women as helpless victims”

    It is basically a form of macho posturing.

  • Nigel

    As a behaviourist I feel we need to be careful. “Violence” is one of those terms  with very elastic meanings. As Ally points out we live at a remarkably “peaceful” time in our western society. This seems circumstantial evidence that material wellbeing ( and consequent absence of desperate competition for the means to live) and the triumph of individual value ( no more self sacrificing cannon fodder) means that there  is less need for desperate competition and little appetite for taking dramatic personal risk. 
    I think it is a good thing to examine competition, violence, restlessness, anger. And I’m sure these are more readily associated with males. But this does have to be an examination perhaps without the overlay of assumptions. Why is it not only that males appear to direct such behaviours at other males and this is remarkably concentrated in a relatively short age band? How is it that there is in fact so little of this behaviour directed at females? How come so much is directed at the self. Why do woman direct so much at intimates ? Yet rarely at acquaintances or strangers? 
    Generally we appear so transfixed by VIOLENCE that in fact a dispassionate examination, for an individual or a “society ” ” gender” appears to hard to do. 
    As an observation in all my experience people ( mainly though by no means solely males) who do “violence” have a really really low opinion of themselves. At it’s most extreme this may be reflected in the suicide rates( and the methods used by males which are more “violent” ). I’d venture to suggest that the way forward is for all folk to grow up feeling they have value as a human being. And I’d suggest that generally males are less valued as such and so unsurprisingly some feel so worthless that they don’t value others. 
    Perhaps once we needed warriors to bring down the mammoth or force the other clan off the pastures, but at least in our lands of plenty we need more to think more of turning human beings into human beings. 
    After all think of all those car stickers , all with a “princess” on board. A princess has to do nothing but be born. 

  • Nigel

    Lewis I agree and I meant human doings into human beings.

  • AJ

    It probably is true that men commit more acts of violenc ethan women but the difference is not as great as suggested by Prison statistics.

    Men convicted of the same offense as women spend far longer in jail (if the women spends time at all). It also sems very likely that violence cmmitted by women is under reported compared to men.

    Domestic violence is the area of violence most studied from a gender point of view and although studies vary it is clear that rates of violence between men and women are not very different. There is a difference in how often that violence leads to death but that may reflct nothing more than a difference in physical size and strength. In any case the numbe rof deaths is a tiny fraction of domestic violence in general.

    The reason why many men including myself react badly to constant messages about male violence is because it is part of a pattern of abuse and discrimination against men. This abuse and discrimination has serious consequences visible in mens life expectancy, suicide rates, prison population and educational achievement.

    Issues where men are clearly disadvanatged are never or almost never discussed . This is despite there being many very significant areas and that they are often excaserbated or created by quite overt sexist discrimination. This is certainly the case in health, education, the legal system, and support for victims of violence including domestic violence.

    Not only is male disadvantage concelaed and denied but even the most serious atrocities committed primarily against men are often recast as actions against women denying and obscuring even the existenc eof male victims. How often when all the men in a war zone village are killed is the story about the women who are the ‘real’ victims of war?

    Not only are male victims and victimisation obscured but at the same time there is a constant narrative about the generic and ubiquitous nature of male crimes. Men in general are constantly depicted as evil.

    These depictions are part of an inherently sexist double standard. Much made, for example, of the number of women killed by men in incidents of domestic violence for example and this used to depict all men as violent. Nothing is made of the fact that most child murders and abuse is committed by women.
    This is (quite rightly) not used to depict all women as child murderers but all men are depicted as violent opressors.

    A balanced discussion of male violence would be fine but what we get is a torrent of anti-male misandrist abuse that seizes on every crime committed by men as evidence of general male violence while denying and obscuring womens crimes. The slightest perceived or actual disadvantage to women is amplified and boradcast in outraged terms whereas even the most major male disadavantage is ignored.

    In this context the attempt to protray all men as violent uncontrolled beast following every suitable incident is part of a misandrist pattern that seriously disadvantages boys and men. It also disadvantages girls and women by creating a climiate of fear for women despite the fact that the risk of being violently attacked is much higher for men and boys.

  • http://becomingjulie.blogspot.co.uk/ BecomingJulie

    The thing is, we really underestimate the extent to which we internalise gender stereotypes and subconsciously impose them on others. I found this article linked from my Twitter feed. When I attempted to find it again via Google by searching for remembered words, I found more studies with similar results; I’ll let you search yourselves, so I can’t be accused of biasing the results to prove a point.

    I wonder to what extent this relates to fear of unknown consequences which may not even happen — leading the adults to steer the child towards (what they believe to be) “gender-appropriate” toys for fear that some terrible, unspecified thing might happen if a boy ever held a doll for too long. My personal experience includes gradually coming to accept that the sky will not fall in, if I make an elementary grammatical mistake (conjugating a verb wrongly, or — to wrest the conversation somewhere back in towards the approximate vicinity of Topic — misgendering a noun) when speaking French.

  • Nigel

    Elly your comment made me think hard and thank you for it . And Ally is, I believe , right to bring the idea up. Overall it appears we know an awful lot about “violence” in terms of individual psychology . So much that on a professional basis one can see the conditions that nurture potentially violent individuals and often see what can be done to assist. As with so many things the difficulty is entering that knowledge into public debate. One problem is of course that there are a range of factors and their relationship can be complex for any individual or situation but to take your cue  Elly if one “loves” people it’s worth making the effort. The other problem is a blindness induced by a good/bad stance.  So somehow though we could apply our extensive knowledge more broadly it isn’t done because it’s taken to be “making excuses” etc. The same “moral” stance of good/bad also prevents us looking at broader issues. The most obvious is the amazing lack of investigation into War. Clearly a commonly repeated  human activity, in its various guises common enough that it must have a place in our overall “normal” pattern of behaviours . But this aspect is ignored , as having established it is “bad” we seem unable to consider that it may have lots of uses .If  we examine it as a human phenomenon without pre conceptions then maybe we’d learn a lot more. Again it is intriguing that, in the west from Classical Greek times there have been “rules”  about war and violence . These have not been consistently the same but overall they generally serve to protect vulnerable groups usually defined along women , children and sometimes old people. As Ally and others here confirm men( and in some places this can mean from mid teens) are both the victims and perpetrators of most  all “crime” violence. But dwarfing that is the socially sanctioned violence, similar behaviours but organised, honed, more brutal, even more age concentrated and frequently “celebrated”. If we looked at all violence together what that might tell us? 
    So returning to the WW1 theme of many pieces this year, how come most violence is orchestrated, is concentrated in very young men( average age of death of US soldiers in Vietnam 19) and takes a  lot of pretty brutal training ? Is it just that the death of young men is least damaging to a populations reproduction? Are young men particularly easy to orchestrate/train? do they have natural proclivities or qualities ? Is it just that they can lift stuff? 
    I suspect if we looked at why males are chosen to be instruments of violence when it is socially sanctioned deliberate (from executioner to tactical police team, from “jihadi” to Un Peacekeeper, precision bomber pilot to WW1 tommies walking and crawling to their deaths on Flanders mud) . We will learn more about when it occurs more “randomly” as isolated crime. 

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  • Ben

    “Ally Fogg says that if we want to make a difference for men and boys, we can’t evade the fact that most serious violence is committed by men.” Yet more women shoplift and we don’t have any articles being written to tackle that. More women abuse children according to some studies, and yet again we have no articles being written about that. So why have you picked violence to write about ? And then to do so in such a “its mens fault” way leads me to believe that the author has some kind of feminist boss.

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