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One of BBC’s top 100 Women in foul-mouthed attack on insideMAN

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A high profile feminist campaigner has launched a foul-mouthed attack on insideMAN magazine. If you don’t want to read an article full of swearing, please stop reading now!

This week, on International Men’s Day (Wednesday 19th November) we received an email from feminist comedian and activist, Kate Smurthwaite, which opened as follows:

“Would you please tell whoever wrote this utter shit to go fuck themselves?”

If you don’t know who Kate Smurthwaite is, in 2013 she was chosen by the BBC as one of its list of “100 Women” from around the world who “campaign for their causes and strive for a better world”, alongside the former New Zealand Prime Minister, Helen Clark; the winner of 11 paralympian gold medals, Tanni Grey-Thompson and the barrister and philanthropist, Cherie Blair.

As a comedian and political commentator, she makes regular appearances on TV and radio (including Question Time) and has links with a broad range of organisations such as the NUT (National Union of Teachers); Abortion Rights UK and the London Feminist Network.

Smurthwaite was emailing us in response to a press release we sent to journalists and commentators,  promoting some of the  articles from our #100Voices4Men an Boys series.

Four reasons feminism is alienating men and boys 

In particular, we highlighted an article by Duncan Fisher, a former commissioner at the Equal Opportunities Commission who ran a small focus group with teenage boys and then wrote about the experience here: “Four reasons feminism is alienating teenage boys”. He said:

“We will never end sexism and gender inequality without the help of boys and men – this has always been the case and will always be. Wagging the finger at all young men and saying “repent!” is an incredibly ineffective recruitment strategy and alienates the men and boys equality work most needs”.

Fisher is not a lone voice expressing such concerns about the current hostility found in the feminist discourse on gender issues. On the day before International Men’s Day, the feminist campaigner and journalist, Julie Bindel, wrote an article in The Guardian saying that “feminism is in danger of becoming toxic”.

Abusive feminists deny women decent male allies 

The previous week, Jake Wallis Simons at Telegraph Men, made a similar point in his comment piece “the internet hates men and no-one’s a winner“:

“Misogynist trolling by horrid little men is a huge concern, but the answer is not to alienate the rest of us…In the current climate of febrile abusiveness…the more the anti-men trend gains traction, the more women will be deprived of decent male allies.”

Fisher’s thoughtful article listing four key reasons why feminism is alienating young men did not impress Smurthwaite.

Feminism wants you to fuck off 

Here’s Kate Smurthwaite’s email to insideMAN in full:

“Would you please tell whoever wrote this utter shit to go fuck themselves?

“It is not the job of women to make men feel welcome in feminism. Men shouldn’t be in favour of female equality because women were nice to them and/or made them feel at ease and comfortable and not too threatened.

“Feminism is about women’s rights. RIGHTS. Rights are things we should just get. Not have to fight for, not have to “play nice” for, not have to decide carefully on how best to ask for. We should just get them cos they’re rights.

“And feminism is the same thing as gender equality. Those who say it is not are lying assholes trying to divide and destroy the movement.

“Please let them know they are misogynist dickwads and that feminism doesn’t want their help. Feminism wants them to fuck off and leave us the fuck alone.”

Free speech doesn’t mean telling people to fuck off

As Fisher wrote in his article for insideMAN: “Social media spreads outrageous views far faster than reasoned arguments and the social media these boys see every day is awash with fundamentalist views that brook no contradiction. The answer: keep a low profile. If you are targeted on-line, everyone can see. The same goes for large numbers of thoughtful teenage girls who would get fired at just as quickly.”

Smurthwaite is an advocate of a certain kind of “free speech”. In 2012 she told the One Law for All London Rally for Free Expression:

“If there is one thing more frightening to fundamentalists than someone with a well-formed opinion, it is someone with a well-formed opinion and a vagina.”

http://youtu.be/YaJQN66L4Tw

Freedom of speech is not simply about rights, it’s also about culture, psychology and behaviour. One of the reasons we launched the #100Voices4Men is that men and boys (and non-feminists generally) don’t experience a culture of free speech when it comes to gender issues.

Conversations about men and masculinity are being oppressed 

One of our writers described what he sees as a “pervasive drive to limit the discussion of men and masculinity to a single, poisonous, narrative: men don’t have problems, they cause them.” We took the considered step of allowing him to post under a pen name, because he was psychologically afraid of what might happen at his public sector workplace if colleagues read the article.

Of course he has the right to say what he wants—anyone has the right to put up a blog or post their views on social media, as long as they’re not libeling people, threatening people or inciting hatred.

But having a right to free speech, but being scared to speak up because your viewpoint is culturally unacceptable to certain controlling interests, who are prepared to behave in a hostile and abusive way towards you if you speak out—is not free speech in action.

Being heard is a two-way process 

A culture of free speech requires free listening—that’s listening free from judgment, anger, hatred, blame and an oppressive desire to close down anyone who thinks differently to you to “go an fuck themselves”. Listening without judgment doesn’t mean agreeing with everything other people say, it means setting aside your own prejudices and judgments for long enough to actually hear what other people have to say.

As I wrote in the article that launched the #100Voices4Men series on 1st October:

“Being heard is a two-way process, it involves speaking and listening—and for too long men and boys have either not spoken up about their experiences of being male, or have not been listened to when they do speak out.

“Our #100Voices4Men and Boys project is a small but significant step towards giving men and boys in the UK a bigger voice in conversations about gender. We can’t promise to agree with everything you say, but we do promise we’ll listen.”

As promised, I’ve listened to what Kate Smurthwaite, one of the BBC’s 100 Women of 2013, had to say to us here at insideMAN magazine and have come  to the conclusion that she is right about one thing, there is nothing more frightening to a fundamentalist than someone with a well-formed opinion.

The world needs fewer fundamentalists and more men and women with well formed opinions who are prepared to support free speech with free listening—and it’s hard to listen to anyone or anything when you’re telling them they are a “misogynist dickwad” who should go and “fuck themselves”.

Article by Glen Poole author of the book Equality For Men

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A heartfelt poem to women who hate men

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Take a look this YouTube clip of Irish poet, Stephen Murphy, delivering a passionate plea to women who are sexist towards men. Thanks to Darach Murphy for making insideMAN aware of Stephen’s work.

—This is article #31 in our series of #100Voices4Men and boys 

“I say this as a man……” says the poet Stephen Murphy before launching into a passionate, poetic plea for men and women to end the gender war.

It’s the opening line in his poem Mac Tire (the Irish term for wolf) in which he declares “some hardcore factions have completely lost the plot,” from “misogynistic pricks” and “emasculating zealots”.

Murphy is particularly concerned about the “depiction of all men as the mortal enemy” and makes a personal plea to women who hate men saying:

“To think that just because I’m a man I’m therefore horrible

is really quite a weak

example of the equal opportunity you seek

because hating me for being a man is just as much an affront

as me hating every Englishman for Cromwell being a….

terrible individual and an habitual psychopath.”

Ease up on the venom!

Murphy is also worried about the impact that negative attitudes towards men could be having on the next generation and signs the poem off with this thought:

“The next time that you slate us all for the next thing we’ve done

I ask you not for me at all, but more just for my son

to ease up on the vitriolic venom in your tongue

and please just try to realise that we live and die as one.”

You can see Stephen Murphy delivering the full poem in the YouTube clip below:

—Picture credit: Flickr/Mai Le

 

To find out more about Stephen Murphy and his poetry visit his “sleeping warrior” website or follow his facebook page.

You can find all of the #100Voices4Men articles that will be published in the run up to International Men’s Day 2014 by clicking on this link—#100Voices4Men—and follow the discussion on twitter by searching for #100Voices4Men.

The views expressed in these articles are not the views of insideMAN editorial team. Whether you agree with the views expressed in this article or not we invite you to take take part in this important discussion, our only request is that you express yourself in a way that ensures everyone’s voice can be heard.

You can join the #100Voices4Men discussion by commenting below; by following us on Twitter @insideMANmag and Facebook or by emailing insideMANeditor@gmail.com. 

Misogyny is man’s worst friend and ending it is good for everyone

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Is campaigning against misogyny men’s work? Chris Flux from Men Against Violence in Preston says it is and explains  here why he thinks tackling sexism against women is good for everyone.

—This is article #45 in our series of #100Voices4Men and boys 

It always concerns me when people blindly attack feminism on social media, labelling the entire movement as ‘evil’ and its proponents as ‘man-haters’.

This does not mean that feminism is some perfect ideology that should never be challenged or that there aren’t some women with some deeply unfair ideas about men. No, what bothers me is that often when someone challenges or merely expresses concern about the way in which some men treat women they get an aggressive response, their ideas misrepresented and constant accusations of man-hating which rarely have any foundation. (most feminists I have met in person or online have been okay with me as a man)

There can be a similar response when anyone (male or female) suggests that men should be more caring, thoughtful or respect women. This doesn’t mean that men should put women on a pedestal (that’s not equality) or that men should be ‘emasculated’ ‘weaklings’ who are prevented from enjoying traditional male pursuits such as sport, beer and sex. It’s just that it’s SO frustrating that there is so much effort aimed at trying to silence these progressive ideas instead of trying to assess them through thoughtful analysis and respectful dialogue.

How does misogyny hurt men?

Whilst reactionary defences of misogyny (the hatred of women) is obviously bad for women, its also VERY BAD for men too as it holds us back as people and causes us a lot of suffering too. These are some of the ways in which misogyny actually hurts men:

  1. Misogyny believes the worst about men. (i.e that we are innately brutal sexist jerks)
  2. Misogyny makes men look bad and creates distrust between the sexes.
  3. Misogyny literally hurts and sometimes kills women (through domestic abuse etc…) that men care about like family members and friends.
  4. Misogyny demands that men conform to very rigid gender roles which limit men’s choices as well as women’s. Men who don’t conform to certain ideals are shamed, abuse and ridiculed for it.(often by being compared to women)
  5. Misogyny creates such a fear in men of being perceived as feminine that they refuse to get medical or emotional help which increases their chances of committing suicide or dying of health conditions which were preventable and treatable (e.g. prostate cancer)
  6. Misogyny creates such a fear in men of being perceived as feminine that they must constantly compete with other men (sometimes through violence) to prove that they are ‘Real Men’. This creates a ‘dog eat dog world’ where women wanting to prove themselves must follow the same rules as men.
  7. Misogyny in porn and the sexual objectication of women damages men’s relationships with women by creating false expectations of sex and damaging intimacy.

Finally, there is often a lot of talk online about misandry and whilst some women are prejudiced against men, amongst the worst and most prominent misandry I have come across comes (ironically) from male chauvinists and rape apologists who excuse sexual violence as being an expression of ‘uncontrollable male lust’. This offensive idea is rejected outright by most feminists who also believe it puts the blame for sexual assault onto the victim.

My message to men is that Misogyny is not your friend but probably your worst enemy! If we unite with women to attempt to end it then we ultimately help ourselves.

If we have a society where women are respected and treated as equals, we also have a society where:

  1. Men are seen as innately caring, decent and trustworthy.
  2. Men don’t have to worry about whether their female friends or relatives are safe.
  3. Men can freely express who they are and choose their own roles. (whether traditional or non-traditional)
  4. Men can access social, medical and professional support without fear of ridicule.
  5. Men are so confident in who they are that they don’t have to prove their maleness.

And finally! In a world without where women are seen as ‘sexual beings’ rather than ‘sexual objects’; sex is going to be better for EVERYONE!

Photo Credit: flickr/Jeremy Keith

Chris Flux is the Campaign Director of Men Against Violence which is “a men’s campaign to end violence against women” which is also “concerned about male victims of abuse and homophobic bullying.” This article is his own opinion and not necessarily the opinion of Men Against Violence.

To find out more visit menagainstviolence.co.uk or follow on twitter @MAV_Preston  of facebook.

You can find all of the #100Voices4Men articles that will be published in the run up to International Men’s Day 2014 by clicking on this link—#100Voices4Men—and follow the discussion on twitter by searching for #100Voices4Men.

The views expressed in these articles are not the views of insideMAN editorial team. Whether you agree with the views expressed in this article or not we invite you to take take part in this important discussion, our only request is that you express yourself in a way that ensures everyone’s voice can be heard.

You can join the #100Voices4Men discussion by commenting below; by following us on Twitter @insideMANmag and Facebook or by emailing insideMANeditor@gmail.com. 

 

Also on insideMAN:

 

Teenage boy tells Yvette Cooper why she has no right to re-educate young men as feminists

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Last week Shadow Home Secretary Yvette Cooper wrote in the Independent that boys should be taught in schools to “grow up as confident feminists”.

She said there should be compulsory education in schools to teach boys not to be abusers, in order to tackle what she described as widespread violence against women.

Her article is the latest in ongoing commentary and concern by leading political figures about a perceived culture of misogyny among Britain’s young men.

What has been missing from the discussion, however, is how boys themselves feel about being cast as potential abusers, who need to be re-educated about their masculinity.

We asked YouTube broadcaster Josh O’Brien, a 17-year-old sociology and politics student, to respond to Yvette Cooper’s statement.

‘Lad Culture’

The Shadow Home Secretary’s article, follows last year’s high-profile speech by Labour MP Diane Abbott in which she said Britain’s boys are growing up in a culture of “hyper-masculinity”, which she said is fuelling misogyny and homophobia.

Then in February 2014, following the banning of controversial pop song “Blurred Lines” by numerous student unions on the basis that it promoted “rape culture” on campus; the NUS held a summit calling for universities to tackle what it says is an endemic “lad culture” which normalises sexual assault of female students.

Meanwhile, the “Great Men Value Women” initiative has been launched as a pilot workshop for boys in London schools, to ensure that young men take an “active role in promoting gender equality”.

The workshops aim to “improve the experience of boys and girls at school and challenge negative gender stereotypes affect which a boys’ behavior, mental health and academic performance, as well as the ways in which they interact with young women”.

What do you think? Should schools be teaching boys to be “confident feminists”? Do you recognise a widespread culture of misogyny among Britain’s young men? What do you think is the impact on boys and young men of teaching them that they are potential abusers in need of re-education?

Josh O’Brien writes and makes youtube videos from an anti-feminist, pro MRM perspective. He has one novel currently released, Supercenaries, and is working on a gender issues book called “On Gynocentrism and Patriarchy” in his spare time. Watch his other videos on his channel and follow him on twitter @fruitbatob

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